Flee For Your Life!
by Chameleon Freak
Summary: Sequel to 'Run Away' Max and Taylor are two average quarreling siblings, unless you count the odd love lives they live, the fact that their parents are world famous Pokemon champions, and the fact that their life is anything but average.
1. Cafeteria Confessions

Flee For Your Life! 

This fanfic has been brought to you by the author Chameleon Freak!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Pokemon. I just want a Pikachu, and then I'll be happy.

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Flee For Your Life!

Chapter 1: Cafeteria Confessions

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Max woke up and once again and banged his head on the bottom of the bed. He hated being forced to sleep on the bottom bunk. But then, if he ever asked to sleep on the top bunk, his twin sister would just start going on and on about how she was the oldest. It didn't matter that it was only by thirteen minutes, she had been the oldest for his sixteen years of existence, and she always would be the oldest. He got up and stared at the mirror. He looked almost exactly like his sister. They are twins after all. Anyway, the only real difference was how they dressed, and their hairstyles. He preferred his red hair longer than a buzz cut, but shorter than any other hairstyle he knew of. His sister, on the other hand, opted for a medium length ponytail on the side of her head. Exactly like his mom's haircut. (A/N Yeah. I stink at that type of summary. I usually just avoid it, but seeing as these are original and main characters, I figured it must be done.) He trudged downstairs and fixed himself some toast. By the looks of things, his parents had already gone to work. Oh how he loved weekends. He finished breakfast just as Taylor plodded into the kitchen.

"You're up early."

"Come off it Taylor. You know I always get up around this time."

"Oh yeah. I guess you're right. I can't read these non-digital clocks to save my life."

"Speaking of things you perform pitifully at, have you summed up the courage to ask Bryan to the Valentines Day Dance?"

"Who told you that's who I wanted to ask?"

"Umm… certainly not your diary."

"I knew it. I'll just have to find a better hiding place."

"I must give you credit though. It was exceptionally hard to find this time. I wouldn't have guessed it was in a Ziploc bag in the little compartment type thing above the toilet."

"It was a stroke of genius."

"I never would have thought your brain capable of such cleverness."

"Yeah right. I could find a better hiding place any day of the week."

"The day you find a good hiding place is the day you have enough courage to ask your would be boyfriend to the dance."

Having no response to this, Taylor busied herself with making scrambled eggs. Meanwhile, Max walked into the T.V. room to play some Super Smash Bros. Melee.

After consuming her eggs and washing the dishes, Taylor made her way into the T.V. room as well. "Move it Max. I wanna watch T.V."

"Tough luck then sis. Cause your not gonna get to watch T.V."

"I'll play you. If I win, I watch my show. If you win, you can play."

"Deal."

It was an intense battle that seemed to go on forever. Taylor, who was playing as Kirby, was at a slight disadvantage, seeing as Max was playing as Young Link. But in the end, she knocked him out of the park with her mallet attack. She was especially gifted with mallets, a skill she had inherited from her mother. After losing, Max changed out of his PJ's and went for a walk. He sighed. There was never anyone who wanted to do the same stuff as him. If he wanted to play video games, everyone wanted to watch T.V. If he wanted to see an action movie, everyone else wanted to see a comedy. It was frustrating. The only people, who ever seemed to agree with him were his friend Ian, plus Abby and Courtney. But unfortunately, Ian had relatives at his house for the weekend. And Abby and Courtney had moved away a long time ago. Max thought back to the day they moved away. Of course, we can't get inside his head unless I say so. So instead, we'll go around the corner, to where Tracey is having a conversation with a man in a kilt and a blender on his head.

"Are you crazy?"

"No. See, this blender will allow me to travel through time, and style my hair at the same time!"

"How do you power it?"

"Gas."

"What type?"

"Bean powered."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I ate a whole lot of beans his morning. Then I put this big funnel down a few inches away from my derrière. So every time I cut the cheese, my machine builds up more fuel."

"You scare me."

"You'll think I'm a genius after I travel through time! Now stand back!" The kilted man pulled a cord on the blender, and he disappeared in a flash of color. "Wow. I guess he was right. Oh well. I'm gonna go get some nachos!"

The man landed exactly ten years in the past. "Hmm. According to the newspaper right there, I landed exactly ten years in the past!" Meanwhile, while the man looked around for a souvenir, two families were conversing across the street. While May, Misty, Brock, and Ash talked to each other, all the little kiddies were saying their goodbyes. "Well, Abby and Courtney, it's been fun pwaying with you. I'm gonna miss you a wot!" Note that I wrote it like that on purpose. They're only six years old, so I thought they'd sound like little kids. So I didn't goof up while writing.

"Yeah Max. Were we could stay a wittle while longer. But our daddy has to get to his bwand new job."

"He's gonna be a gym weader! He'll battle Pokemon and give out wots of badges!"

"Cool! What types of Pokemon does he got?"

"Wock types! He's got a big Geodude, and an Onix, plus he got's a Forretwess!"

"Where are you guys goin'?"

"We're gonna go to a pwace cawled Wittleroot!"

Brock walked over. "C'mon Abby. C'mon Courtney. We need to hit the road if we want to get to Littleroot by tonight."

"Why don't we just fwy there daddy?"

"Because I have no flying Pokemon. Neither does your mom. And even if we did, it would have to be legendary to carry a family of four! No, we have to go to Saffron, get on the magnet train, and then once we're in Goldenrod, we have to walk all the way to the ferry port in Olivine. We've got to get on the ferry, then we'll get off in Slateport. We've must walk for a couple of hours in order to get to Littleroot. So if we want to get there before it's dark, we need to leave now."

"Okay daddy!"

"We can go now."

And so Brock and Max hopped on their bikes, while Abby and Courtney mounted their tricycles. Ash, Misty, Taylor, and Max waved as the other family slowly made it's way to their new home. Meanwhile, the man in the kilt had found his souvenir and was preparing to travel to the present time. "Now lets see, I've got enough fuel, I've got my souvenir, I guess it's time for me to get back to the future!"

He pulled the cord and warped back to his time. "I did it!" Then the machine exploded, flying off his head, and into the distance. "Noooooo! I didn't get to see the future! Oh well. I guess I'll go get some beans for lunch. I'm starving."

And so he walked away. Back around the corner, Max finished reminiscing, and walked back to his house, on the way, he passed a man in a kilt, and he couldn't help but comment.

"Hey! Nice dress!"

"It's not a dress! It's a sign of Scotland! It's a sign of life and love! It's a sign of my entire country and all of their struggles and achievements! It's a sign of all that's good in the world! It's not a dress my friend, it's a kilt!"

"Yeah. Umm… I still say it looks like a dress."

"But it's not! It's a kilt. There's a difference!"

"Like what?"

"Well, this is plaid, a boy's wearing it, it's got all these little frilly things, and it's from Scotland!"

"It's a dress!"

"Don't tell me about things you don't know!"

"Whatever!"

Max walked back home. Once there, he found a note taped to the door. It was addressed to him, so he opened it.

"_Dear Max,_

_I have hid from you for long enough! I have held in how I fell about you for too long! But now I will tell you. Max, I love you with every inch of my being. I love how funny and talented you are! Plus, I think about you all the time and wish I could sum up the courage to greet you face to face! But until that day, I hope this note will do the talking for me._

_Love,_

_You Secret Admirer_"

Now, that freaked Max out. I mean, would you expect to come home and find a note saying that someone had a crush on you? So he was perplexed at who would send him a note like this. He was so deep in thought that he walked right into an old friend of his dads. "WHY THE HECK DID YOU WALK INTO ME LIKE THAT?! WERE YOU BEING CHASED BY A HERD OF PSYCHOTIC CHANSEY?!" David asked while turning red in the face. "Sorry David! I really am! I wasn't thinking straight!" said a startled Max. "Someone just told me that they love me! And I have no clue who! That just freaked me out. I mean, I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment! I didn't know what to do! So I ran like a maniac to get away to find help! I was thinking about who to ask for advice."

"WHY DIDN"T YOU JUST ASK ME FOR ADVICE INSTEAD OF RUNNING INTO ME LIKE THAT?! Tell you what. You can buy me a burger to make up for the incident YOU caused, and I'll give you some of my WORLD FAMOUS ADVICE!"

"Sounds good to me."

"Hmm… this situation seems very familiar. Almost too familiar. Oh well. They just opened up a new McDonphan's over on Beedrill Blvd. We can go get lunch over there."

"Okay."

So off they went. If David thought that situation was familiar, the one coming up would have to be twice as familiar.

"For crying out loud David! That's your 10th deluxe double patty cheeseburger yet! When you said you'd give me some advice on how to deal with my secret admirer over a burger, I thought you meant JUST ONE BURGER!! I'm going to be flat broke in five minutes at the rate your going!"

"Sorry Max. You try giving good advice on an empty stomach!"

"Let me tell you something David. If you don't stop eating and start giving me advice in the next TEN SECONDS, I'll personally take all ten of those burgers right back out of your freakishly large gut!"

David sighed and sat back in his seat. "Okay Max. What do you need help with?"

Max smiled and sat back in his seat also. "A secret admirer just told me that she loves me."

David smiled a little and asked, "Did she say why she loved you?"

"I was too busy freaking out to really pay attention, but I think she mentioned that I was really funny or something like that."

"Okay. Now, would you like my opinion, or would you like to know what I'd do in this situation?"

"Seeing how many burgers you just consumed, why don't you give me both."

"Okay, here's my advice. You should found out who wrote the note, then tell her that you don't feel the same way."

"That might work. Say, this sounds exactly like that stupid story my dad tells us."

"About when they were your age?"

"Yes."

"Interesting. This whole situation seems tremendously familiar."

"Weird."

"Anyway, here's what I'd do if I were you."

"What?

"First of all, I'd find out who wrote the note, then I'd take her on a date and see if she's your type. If she's your type, become her boyfriend."

"What if she isn't my type?"

"Flee for your life if you see them anywhere within a five-mile radius."

"No. Seriously. What would I do?"

With a straight face David said, "I just told you. Oh well. Say hello to your parents for me."

"Will do."

David left the restaurant. Max threw away the trash and walked outside as well. He had taken five steps when he saw Bryan Hoberman being chased by his sister. Acting quickly, he ran to a pay phone and called his sisters cell phone. He turned and saw her stop. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi Taylor. It's Max."

"Hi Max. You caught me at a bad time. Can I call you back?"

"No. I need to tell you something."

"What?"

Swallowing his fear of being laughed at, Max commenced telling Taylor about his secret admirer. By the time he was done, he could see her doubled up with laughter.

"So someone has a crush on you?"

"Umm…Yeah."

"Wait until mom and dad hear about this!"

He heard the phone go dead and he turned to see his sister sprinting off towards the Indigo Plateau. He hung up the phone and dashed after her. Unfortunately, they were both on the track team, so he had trouble catching up to her since she had a head start. He took a short cut and came out at the Staff entrance just in time to see his sister sprint inside, still laughing uncontrollably. He sprinted inside and used the last bit of his energy to overtake her. She looked shocked to see him appear from behind her.

"Hey sis. You weren't really going to tell mom and dad?"

"Of course I was."

"C'mon. If you do, I'll tell them about how you were chasing Bryan."

She stopped in her tracks.

"How'd you know about that?"

He looked into her chocolate brown eyes and saw that they were filled with worry. No one knew she somewhat liked Bryan except for Bryan, Max, and herself. He didn't think she was about to sacrifice that secret to get a good laugh about Max's predicament.

"You win little bro."

"I'm only thirteen minutes younger than you!"

"So you admit that you're littler."

"I'll show you! I'm telling mom about your crush!"

"If you do, I'll tell dad about how you have a girl who has a crush on you."

"At least I'm not in love. I'm just trying to evade it. You on the other hand…"

He trailed off menacingly. She looked stuck between wanting to tease him and wanting to keep her secret a secret. She eventually gave in.

"You win."

"Glad we see things eye to eye."

"I hope you realize I'm still gonna use your girlfriend against you. I think I'll start by immortalizing her in my diary."

She dashed off cackling manically. Max raced after her but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He spun around and found himself face to face with his dad, Ash. Duh.

"Umm… Hi dad. How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to hear that your sister has a crush, you're blackmailing her with it, there's a girl who has a crush on you, and you don't feel the same way."

"So basically the whole time."

"Pretty much."

"Yeah. Well, I was er… only kidding about the whole blackmailing thing."

"It didn't seem like it to me."

"Well I was."

"Well, your mother is still going to hear about it."

"Hear about what?"

Misty had walked into the room. She raised an eyebrow.

"Well? What were you going to tell me?"

"Well, you see, Max tried to blackmail Taylor."

"With what information?"

"It seems she likes a boy named…" Ash looked to Max for information.

"Bryan Hoberman."

"Okay. It seems she likes Bryan Hoberman _and_ a girl has a crush on Max. But he doesn't feel the same way."

Misty smiled. "So how did you find out a girl had a crush on you, Max?"

"I walked home and found a note on the door. Some secret admirer wrote it and I have no… "

"Wait a minute. Secret admirer? Are you serious?" Ash interrupted.

"Basically."

"So what are you planning to do about her?"

"Umm… Ignore her and any letters I get from her."

"That wouldn't work, but we'll get back to that."

"Why?"

"Because right now I want to know how you found out your sister had a crush on Bryan."

"Oh. Well, I umm… read her diary."

"You found her diary and read it again?"

"Yeah."

"Where was it this time?"

"In a Ziploc bag in the little compartment type thing above the toilet."

"Wow. She's really serious about hiding that thing."

"Yeah. But I like the challenge."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Anyway, How long has she had this crush?"

"Since she first met him."

"Oh okay. Just wondered."

"You know, some might label you as nosy, but I know better. I'm glad to have such over protective parents."

"Good. So, back on the subject of your love life…"

"I'm don't have a love life! She likes me, but I DON'T like her!"

"I know. Anyway, I think Misty could probably offer you better advice than I can."

"Thanks for passing the buck Ash."

"Umm… mom?"

"Yes?"

"What should I do?"

"I have no experience with a secret admirer. So I have no advice."

"Okay. I'll just use David's advice."

Ash frowned, remembering David's last bit of advice.

Misty, on the other hand, smiled. "What did David say?"

"I should flee for my life."

"Okay. Well, don't do that."

"If you say so."

"Well, we're done with work for the day. Unfortunately, we only have two bikes. So I guess you'll have to walk."

"I could race you."

"You could?"

"Yeah. It would be great training for the track team."

"If you say so."

And so they all started off. Ash and Misty had decided to take it easy on Max, but when he dashed by, leaving them in his wake, they put the pedals to the mettle. It was a close race, but in the end, Misty was the fastest of the three. They walked into the house after catching their breath. They found Taylor watching the news. Ash sat down next to her and was about to open his mouth when Misty walked in. "I think I should talk to her Ash."

Ash nodded and walked away, while Taylor paled. "Umm… what are you talking about?"

"Think about it."

"I didn't do it! I have enemies! It was probably Max!"

"You did nothing wrong, I just want to talk to you about boys."

Seeing as I don't know what type of talk's girls and their mothers have, I'll just skip to the kitchen.

Ash was chugging a six-pack of sodas, while Max watched with fascination. "I'm always amazed at how much you and Taylor can eat. It's like you're always hungry."

"It's a gift."

"Well, when Thanksgiving rolls around, it's a nightmare."

"Oh well. It sounds like your mother's done talking to Taylor. Want to go play Super Smash Bros. Melee?"

"Sure!"

As they got up, Taylor walked in. She shot a look of hatred at Max and stormed off. Misty walked in and smiled.

"So Ash, I want to remind you that you promised to make dinner tonight."

Before Ash could respond, Misty walked away. Ash paled and looked at Max for support. Then Ash straightened up. He walked over to the phone. "Hello? Dominoddish's? I'd like two large pizzas with pepperoni and sausage. Thank you."

"Smooth Dad. Really smooth."

"Thanks."

"I'm gonna go play video games."

"Good luck."

"Thanks."

Max played Super Smash Bros. Melee until the pizza came. Then he helped his father make it look as if they had spent the last hour cooking pizza.

"No dad. You don't use sugar and cinnamon to cook pizza."

"Oh."

Misty walked in just as Max threw away the pizza boxes. She seemed pleased with Ash's choice of food, and helped Max set the table. After the table was set, the food was served, the drinks were gotten, and Ash and Misty had both sat down, Max walked to the bottom of the stairs and called out, "TAYLOR! IT'S TIME FOR DINNER!"

Taylor walked out of their room, marched down the stairs, shot daggers out of her eyes at Max, and walked into the kitchen. They all sat down, said grace, and started eating. During the entire meal, Taylor kept throwing mean looks at Max. Misty noticed this and addressed the issue. "Taylor, why are you looking at your brother like that?"

"The traitor ratted me out after I said I wouldn't squeal on him if he didn't squeal on me."

Max frowned. "I didn't 'squeal' on you."

"Did too. How else did mom know I had a crush on Bryan?"

Ash smiled. "Maybe I told her."

"Oh great. So you told dad, who then told mom. I knew you were up to no good."

Ash looked her in the eyes. "Your brother didn't tell me anything. I was standing behind him in the shadows the entire time."

"Oh. Umm… okay."

"Your brother was extremely reluctant to tell me anything. So I think you owe him an apology."

"Umm… sorry Max. I thought you had tattled on me. Will you forgive me?"

"Sure. Sorry if I hurt your feelings by teasing you."

"Think nothing of it."

"Good. I'm glad you two have made up. So Ash, what do you have planned for desert?"

"Umm… Ice Cream."

"Oh."

So Ash got off the hook and Taylor stopped giving Max mean looks. After dinner, they watched television for a while. Then, Ash went upstairs to bed, Taylor and Max went to bed, and Misty sat down to watch the news. The reporter was starting a segment on the effects of steroids when given to a Pokemon right before a battle. Meanwhile, a tremendous argument about the most important thing in the world was going on upstairs, it was of course, over who got the top bunk. Max and Taylor were both clean and in their pajamas. Taylor had walked into their room and found Max lying in the top bunk.

"Hey! You know I sleep up there! Get down now!"

"Make me."

"Oh I will. I choose you, Sceptile! Now, use Vine Whip to get him out of my bed!"

Max felt himself be picked up by a pair of vines and dropped unceremoniously on the floor.

"Ow! Tell you what sis. You battle me and winner gets top bunk."

"You're on!"

And so they marched out back to their dad's private arena.

"So sis, you chose Sceptile. In that case, I choose you, Blaziken!"

"Sceptile, use Stun Spore!"

"Dodge it and use Flamethrower!"

Sceptile shot a cloud of golden powder at Blaziken, who promptly blew it away by sending a column of fire at Sceptile.

"Dodge it and use Bullet Seed!"

Sceptile twirled out of the way and shot a stream of seeds at Blaziken.

"Quick! Use Fire Blast!"

Blaziken shot a huge burst of fire at the seeds, which burn into ashes and disappeared before reaching their target.

"Now Blaziken, use your Smokescreen attack!"

A cloud of smoke covered the battlefield. When the smoke cleared, both Max and Blaziken were gone. Taylor heard laughing and looked towards the house just in time to see Max round a corner. She dashed after him and heard him going up the stairs. She remembered leaving the window open earlier. She called back to her Sceptile. "Quick Sceptile, shoot lots of Sleep Powder into my room!"

She reached the top of the stairs and walked into her room. She saw the last of the Sleep Powder dissipate. Max was snoring half way up the ladder to the top bunk. Not wanting to wake him, she turned off the lights and climbed up on the footboards to the top bunk. She fell asleep laughing at the fact that her brother would probably wake up in the morning and fall off the ladder in shock. He needed some comeuppance after all. She fell asleep to a dream about all of the holidays in the order they appear over the course of the year, oddly enough. First of all, she was holding a party popper while celebrating New Years. She popped it open and a Valentines Day card fell out. She opened that and was sucked into a giant Easter Basket. She cracked open an egg and out came a giant firecracker. It flew at her and exploded. Throwing her into an orange wall. When she turned around, it was a Jack-O-Lantern. It ate her and she fell down a hole onto a table. She saw an army of turkey and other foods rushing at her. Then she fell into a big card that read "Happy Holidays!" She opened the card and a party popper fell into her hands. She popped it open and a Valentines Day card fell out. She opened that and was sucked into a giant Easter Basket. She cracked open an egg and out came a giant firecracker. It flew at her and exploded. Throwing her into an orange wall. When she turned around, it was a Jack-O-Lantern. It ate her and she fell down a hole onto a table. She saw an army of turkey and other foods rushing at her. Then she fell into a big card that read "Happy Holidays!" She opened the card and… Taylor woke up with a start. For some reason, pizza always made her repeat the same dream all night long. So she turned over and saw that Max had woken up before her. He always did. She looked at the calendar on the wall. Yesterday had been the 5th. So today was… Monday. She hated Monday's. You'd just gotten into the groove of goofing off all day and doing nothing for the weekend, and then it's a weekday and you have to go to school. Oh well. She went downstairs and found Max reading her freshly updated diary.

"Max!"

"Umm… Hi Taylor."

"You're reading my diary!"

"Well, yeah. You made me fall asleep on the ladder, so I decided this was a proper means of payback."

"Payback for what? I just made you sleep on the ladder!"

"And gave me back pains by doing so."

"Oh. Sorry."

"So, you still want to get a date with Bryan after he dumped you?"

"No. I suppose you read that in my diary."

"Yeah. Sorry though. It must have been tough."

"Yeah. Oh well. I picked another suitable candidate."

"Who?"

"Your friend Ian."

Max fell out of the chair in shock. When he sat back down, he said, "Umm… why him?"

"Duh! Don't tell me that even though he's been your friend for ten years, you didn't know he has a crush on me."

"I know he did. How did you find out?"

"He was always looking at me somewhat oddly. I only figured out why when he offered to take me to the dance."

"Oh. So you wanna go with him cause you like him, or because he asked you already?"

"Both. I've always liked him. I mean, the only friend I have who's a boy besides you is Ian. Everyone else is a girl. Max, I gotta tell ya, you're being really nosy."

"Oh. Well, he's my friend. So I have his best interests in mind. So, are you just gonna go to the dance with him, or do you want to take your relationship further?"

Before he knew it, Taylor had rushed upstairs, grabbed a pillow, and proceeded to hit him full on in the face with it. After Max had gotten up from the floor, he sat back down in the chair and grabbed his head.

"Wow. You're almost lethal with a pillow. I was joking by the way."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Well, Ian's gonna meet me here in ten minutes and we're gonna walk to school. I can run back under the pretext of getting my math book, if you want to ask him then."

"Okay. I'd better hurry though."

Taylor scarfed down some cereal, ran upstairs, changed out of her pajamas, grabbed her schoolbooks, and ran back downstairs.

"Wow. I thought you could be ready quickly, but I thought it would take you longer than twenty seconds."

She blushed.

"Is there something you're not telling me Taylor?"

"Umm… no."

"Tell me the truth or your diary goes down the toilet."

"NO! NOT THE DIARY! Okay. Fine. I've always had a crush on Ian, I just freaked out when he asked me, so I said no. Then I thought maybe I don't like Ian at all, but I like Bryan instead. But now I realize I really like Ian."

"See. That's why I don't deal with all this lovey dovey stuff. It's just too much trouble."

"You can't disregard it. It's inevitable."

"If you say so."

"Oh. I do say so."

DING-DONG!

"Hmm… that must be Ian. C'mon."

They walked to the door and opened it. Standing before them was Ian. He had somewhat white and somewhat tan skin. He had, just like almost everyone else in this story, brown eyes and brown hair.

"Hi Max. Umm… Hi Taylor."

He started blushing.

"Sorry about the other day."

Max pretended to be alarmed.

"Whoops! I almost forgot my math book. I'll be right back."

Max dashed upstairs and walked just out of view. He listened closely to their conversation.

"Yeah, about that. I umm… wasn't thinking clearly and I was wondering if you could umm… forgive me and maybe go to the dance with me?"

"Umm… you mean it?"

"Yup."

"Oh. Okay then."

Max walked back downstairs.

"Found it. Hey. Why are you both blushing?"

Taylor shot him another mean look.

"It's nothing."

"Oh. If you say so."

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Taylor kept looking over at Ian and then blushing, while Ian determinedly looked anywhere but at her. He, like so many unfortunate boys, had no clue how to act around girls, and therefore thought the silence could keep him from saying anything stupid. But that failed miserably when Taylor asked the all-important question.

"So Ian, when do you want to pick me up for the dance?"

Max couldn't help but smile as the color drained from Ian's face.

"I umm… how about umm… I uh… pick you up a rat, oops, I mean around seven dirty? Umm… Thirty. I mean thirty."

Taylor laughed.

"That sounds fine. But, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm lime. I'm fine. I'm just exited. Knou yow? I mean, you know?"

Again she laughed. Max sighed. Didn't she know she was probably putting him on the edge of a nervous breakdown? Oh well. Looks like he'd have to intervene.

"So Ian how was your weekend?" Max asked.

"Pretty good. I spent most of the time reading. How about you?"

"Okay I guess. A girl told me that she had a crush on me so I spent most of yesterday evading her." Max scowled with the last part of his statement.

Ian on the other hand appeared deep in thought. After a while, he responded. "Interesting. I'd have to say if you want to elude someone, you should spend most of the day in your room."

Max smiled. "That might work. How would you know though?"

"I wouldn't. But every book I've ever read where someone is trying to avoid someone, they lay low in their house if they can."

Taylor finally spoke up. "So Ian, I take it you read a lot?"

"Umm… yeah. I try and get at least a book read every week. Why do you ask?"

Taylor blushed. "Just wondered. So what are your favorite types?"

"Umm… I like Fiction, Sci-Fi, Action, Spy Novels, and umm… never mind."

Max knew what he read and looked away to stop from laughing. Taylor, who didn't know, asked, "What?"

"Romance."

"What's wrong with that? You can even ask Max if you want, there's nothing wrong with Romance novels."

"I just thought you'd think that was funny."

"I don't. I like reading Romance novels too." At this, Taylor once again started blushing.

Ian instantly responded. "Really? Who's your favorite author?"

It went on like this for some time. Max was glad his sister had finally broken the ice. They arrived at school and Max and Taylor walked off to Science class, while Ian made his way to English. While he waited for class to start, Max interrogated Taylor. He was so caught up in the conversation, he didn't even notice the girl sitting besides him kept looking at him and blushing.

"So Taylor, I didn't know you liked Romance."

"Oh. Umm… well, I don't usually read during the day. It's usually at night."

Their teacher walked in and class started. The rest of the day went by in a hurry. When it was over, Max and Taylor were having their usual argument.

"I want the top bunk!"

"Tough little bro. It's mine."

"No way! It's my turn! You always sleep there and I want a turn!"

"No way."

"Fine. Oh well, good night."

And so once again, the day ended. The week went by pretty quickly, with no really big changes. And so we reach a week later, or next Monday to be precise, and it was the day before the dance. That morning, Max began his favorite sport, diary hunting. He thought of where Taylor was most likely to hide it. He settled on the kitchen. He rummaged around the pantry and then made his way to the fridge. He was about to move on to the appliances when he noticed a carton of milk in the fridge. "_Hmm… we ran out of milk yesterday, and mom hasn't gone to the store yet. I wonder…_" He picked up the carton and discovered that the entire bottom had been cut out of it. Inside was, to his utter delight, Taylor's diary. He opened it up and turned to her newest entry.

"_Dear Diary,_

_I've got to confide in you, I've never felt like this before. Every time I see Ian, think about him, or talk to him, I feel like I'm flying and about ready to faint at the same time. Truth be told, I think I…_"

"MAX!"

"Umm… Hi Taylor."

"YOU READ MY DIARY AGAIN! UHHHH!"

"Now, now, what would your _boyfriend_ say?"

"WHY DO YOU PERSIST IN READING MY DAIRY?! IS IT SOMETHING IN YOUR BRAIN THAT JUST MAKES YOU HAVE TO READ IT?!"

"Actually, it's because you keep on calling me 'little'. I find that the only retaliation that seems to make you as mad as you make me is when I read your diary."

"Fine. I'll try not to call you 'little' as much. Now will you ditch your Napoleon Complex and hand over my diary?"

"As soon as I finish this page. Now let me see… '_I think I love him._' There. All done. Wow. You love him. That's just so romantic." Max teased. The expression of embarrassment of Taylor's face made Max fall out of his chair laughing.

"Ha ha! Better not get on my bad side! Mom would love to hear that you're in love! She'll go crazy with happiness! I can just see it now. 'Awwwwwwwwwwwww! My little girl is finally growing up! I'm just so proud I could…'"

Taylor had once again retrieved her pillow and proceeded to knock Max off his feet.

"If you tell one soul what you read, I'll tell mom about how I saw you accidentally dropped that fifty pound barbell on your toe and started saying swear words so bad it would put a sailor to shame."

"Y…you wouldn't!"

"Yes I would."

"Fine, you win."

"Tell me something though. Why do you like to read my diary so much?"

"I like your writing. It's very good. Plus, if you threaten me, I can threaten you right back because I'll have read your deepest secrets."

"Oh. That actually makes sense. But don't read it again unless you have my permission. Understand?"

"Fine."

"So no hard feelings?"

"Nope. Same for you?"

"Yep I'm fine."

"Good. You are my only sibling after all. I just get on your nerves to show that I care."

"Okay. Same here. Also, I'd like to walk to school with Ian. Without you."

"So what?"

Taylor pointed behind Max. He spun around and looked out the window. Ian was walking towards the door.

"Oh. I'll go out the back. See you at school."

"See you then."

Max grabbed his school stuff and ran out the back door. He hopped their fence and found himself in an alley. He dashed away just as he heard Ian ring the doorbell. He rounded the corner and ran directly into the older Max. "Ouch! Oh, Hi Max. Are you on your way to school?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I was going to umm… take a short cut."

"Why?"

"I umm… wanted to get to school quicker."  
"Oh."

"Yeah. The only way is to go through the back alley. But I tell ya, sometimes I wish I had a restraining order for my sister. She just beat the stuffing out of me with a pillow. A PILLOW!"

"Restraining order? That reminds me. One time I dressed up as a flower delivery person and got my sister to sign what she thought was a release form. But in reality, she signed a form, which let me bug her house. Good times. Good times."

"Umm… okay. Well, I must go now. Bye."

"Have a good day at school!"

"Yeah. Okay."

Max walked away. Once again he didn't look where he was going and walked into someone. "Oh sorry about that."

He looked up. He was staring right into the face of the local school bully.

"Why'd you do that, squirt?"

"Umm… hi Spike. I wasn't looking where I was going. Sorry."

"Well, sorry don't cut the cheese. So I guess I'll have to take your lunch money instead."

"Umm… sorry. I don't have lunch money."

"What about a bag lunch?"

"With my sister."  
"Oh. Well, in that case, I'll just punch you silly instead."

"Joy."

"Hey. Are you being a wise guy?"

"No way. I'm really immature. I couldn't be wise."

"Hey! You're asking for it."

"Out of curiosity, what exactly am I asking for?"

"This."

Spike raised his fist and wound up to punch Max. He was about to strike when…

"Hey! Leave him alone!" Spike turned around and found he facing a girl around Max's age. "Crud! I don't like eyewitnesses. You got lucky this time Ketchum!"

Spike walked off. Max turned to the girl, who looked oddly familiar.

"Thanks. I was almost gonna be made to eat my words, and my teeth."

"You're welcome."

"Hmm… You seem familiar. Have I met you before?"

"No. But I know who you are. My brother talks about you all the time."

"Who's your brother?"

"You don't know. Oh. Well, that's good."

"What's good?"

"See, I'm not very social. Some would say I'm downright shy. So, I guess my brother respected that fact and never told you about me."

"I don't want to come across as rude or anything, but who the heck is your brother?"

"Ian."

"Ian's your brother?"

"Yes."

"That's why you looked so familiar. Well, shall we go to school?"

"Yes. Let us travel far and wide on a quest to reach the building of knowledge."

"I guess you read a lot of books as well."

"Most undeniably so."

"Umm… yeah. So, let's get going while the going's good."

And so they were off on a long and tedious journey over two blocks of unknown adventure. They're quest was to reach the halls of immeasurable knowledge. Yeah. And so after several long minutes, they arrived at the passages of infinite information. I've said it once and I'll say it again, I love my Thesaurus. So anyway, they arrived in class, and took their seats. Ian's sister sat towards the front next Max and Taylor instead of in the back. While they were waiting for class to start, Max introduced his friend's sibling to Taylor. "Taylor this is… umm… what's your name?"

"Elizabeth. But everyone calls me Liz."

"So you're named Liz and your brother's named Ian?"

"Yes."

"Okay, just wanted to be sure. Well anyway, Taylor, this is Liz. Liz, this is Taylor."

"Any friend of my brother is a friend of mine."

"Same here. So, Ian tells me you two are going to the dance together. He seems to really like you."

"Oh. She really li…" Max trailed off at the look on Taylor's face.

"Remember bro, you tell anyone that secret, and I'll tell mom and dad all about you little barbell episode."

"Fine. But you should tell her. She is your boyfriends sister after all."

Taylor opened her mouth to answer, but the teacher walked in and class began. All to soon, lunch was upon them. Max and Taylor made their way to an empty table and sat down. After a few minutes of eating and talking to each other, Ian made his way over and sat down next to Taylor.

"Hey Ian. I met your sister today."

"Did you? She usually doesn't introduce herself. Let alone talk to anyone."

"Well, she stood up to a bully for me."

"I don't believe it."

"It's true. Spike was about to punch me when she confronted him."

"Wow. She must really like you. Umm… oh man. Why do I always say what I'm thinking? Yeah. Do not take into account what I just said."

Max stared at Ian.

"Wh…What do you mean?"

"Duh. She's shy, yet she stands up to a bully. The only way she'd ever stand up to a bully is if they bully was bullying family or someone else she really liked."

"Oh. Umm… interesting. Why does every girl seem to have a crush on me?"

"No clue. But you can ask her right now. Here she comes."

Liz made her way to the table as well and plopped down next to her newest friend, and possibly only friend besides Taylor, Max.

"Hi Max. Hi Taylor. Hi big bro."

"Hi Liz."

"Hiya sis."

"Umm… h… hi Liz."

"What's up with you Max?"

"Well… Your brother just said that you umm…"

Liz looked at Ian. "What did my brother say?"

"He said that you umm… must really… umm… what I mean to say is, if you stood up to that bully you must really… like umm…. me." Max started blushing. Ian, on the other hand, took a different approach to the situation. He dropped his fork on purpose.

"Well, would you look at that? I dropped my fork. I'll just go get another one from the far side of the cafeteria."

Taylor looked at the two blushing teens sitting opposite her and the next thing you know…

"Oops! I dropped my spoon! I'd better go get another one from the far side of the cafeteria."

Both Taylor and Ian got up and walked away. Max meanwhile confronted Liz.

"So, do you really like me?"

"Umm… I'm going to kill my brother. That stupid blabbermouth. Oh well." She took a deep breath.

"Yes. I do like you. I always watch you when you come over to my house, and I hear all about you from my brother. Plus, I always sit at the far side of the cafeteria and just sit there and gaze at you while you eat your lunch. I really truly like you. Plus, I understand if you think I'm creepy."

"I don't think you're creepy."

"Y…You don't?"

"No. I never knew you existed before today, but ever since you stood up to Spike, I just can't stop thinking about you. I…I like you too."

Max blushed vivid red and smiled. They just sat ther in silence for a while, soaking in what had just been said. Yeah. I'm a hopeless romantic, but that's the truth. Not a belittling comment. Anyway, Max was the first to break the silence.

"So, do you want to go to the dance?"

"Sure. I'd umm… love to."

And so it was settled. Our two main characters had found dates for the 'big' dance, which was tomorrow. Now, comes the madness of actually preparing for the dance. Dramatic music plays. And so ends the first exciting chapter of _Flee For Your Life!_

---------------------------

Chameleon Freak: Okay. Now, instead of interviewing a character, I'll be doing a karaoke song every time! The first song I'll sing is 'The Thinnest Man I Ever Knew'! Just so everyone knows, sing it with a New England accent. Here I go.

The thinnest man I ever knew,

Was a man from old Hoboken.

If I told you just how thin he was,

You'd think that I was jokin'.

He was…

Thin as the glue of a postage stamp,

The skin of a new potatah'

For exercise he used to dive,

Through the hole of a nutmeg scrapah'.

He never went out on a dark, dark night.

He never went out alone.

For fear the a lean and hungry dog,

Would take him for a bone!

He was sitting one night in his boarding house,

The light was burning dimly.

A mosquito grabbed him by the neck,

And pulled him up the chimney!

Oh me! Oh my!

He often lost his breath.

He fell through the hole in the seat of his pants,

And he choked himself to death!

Chameleon Freak: And that's the song. Sing it to any tune you'd like. And Happy Holidays! And a Happy New Year! Well, goodnight everybody.


	2. Attack of the Publicist

Flee For Your Life! 

This fanfic has been brought to you by the author Chameleon Freak!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Pokemon. I just want a Squirtle, and then I'll be happy.

Flee For Your Life!

Chapter 2: Attack of the Publicist

---------------------------------

WARNING! THE FOLLOWNG CHAPTER CONTAINS CONSTANT PILLOW VIOLENCE!

IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ ABOUT SOMEONE BEING HIT WITH A PILLOW, DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER! This has been a public service announcement from the Prevention Of Pillow Violence Society. Thank you.

"Every time I get really upset with Max, I find the best way to make him suffer is to knock him unconscious with my pillow. But I always need to run upstairs to get it. So mom, could you teach me how to pull things out of thin air from behind your back?"

"Sure Taylor. But I warn you, it takes a while to master it. Only a few people in the world can do it."

"Like who?"

"Well, I can do it, and so can May, and your aunts. That's about it."

"So how do I start?"

"Well, fist you need to pick your weapon of choice."

Taylor held up her pillow.

"Okay. Now, before you begin practicing, you need to learn the basics of quantum physics. Now, do you know anything about quantum foam?"

"Umm… what's a quantum?"

"Oh boy. Let's start at the very beginning."

So while Misty got down to the basic facts of quantum science, Ash and Max were having a slightly different talk in the kitchen.

"So Max, the important thing to remember about speed eating is that you should never chew your food. The longer the food is in your mouth and not your stomach, the longer you have to start feeling full."

"So how do I eat without chewing?"

"Well, first of all, you need to exercise your tongue."

"What?"

"You see, I always crush the food with my tongue, and swallow down the newly compacted food whole."

"Oh. So how do I practice?"

"Start with softer foods and work your way up. Same thing goes with size. Start with smaller bites, and then gradually proceed to bigger mouthfuls. It took me a couple months of work before I was as good at it as I am now."

"Oh."  
Taylor and Misty walked into the room smiling as if they had discovered the cure for the common cold. Misty was the first to speak. "Taylor has something she would like to show you."

"Can I have a volunteer?"

Max shrugged and stood up. He had nothing better to do. Taylor walked over and stood next to him. Next thing he knew, Max was on the floor.

"What happened?"

"I pulled my pillow out from behind my back and knocked you unconscious."

"Oh. Show me, but don't hurt me."

He stepped back as Taylor reached behind her back and produced her pillow out of midair. Ash, Misty, and Taylor were pleased, but Max was anything but.

"Great. Now you can pummel me anytime I get with in three feet of you."

"I'm glad you like it."

"Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?"

"No."

"Well I have something to show you."

Ash looked surprised. "No Max. You haven't practiced at all."

"I'll take my chances."

"If you say so."

Ash placed a bowl of popcorn, three slices of pizza, and fifteen cupcakes in front of Max. Taylor and Misty sat down and watched in fascination.

Ash got his watch ready to time Max.

"On your mark, get set, go!"

Max started with the cupcakes. He shoved them in his mouth one at a time and swallowed them whole. It literally seemed as though he was inhaling the food. After the cupcakes had been polished off in roughly forty-nine seconds, he attacked the popcorn. His mouth was so full of popcorn it was open as wide as it could be. But he used his tongue to squish the popped corn down to bite size. In no time at all, about thirty-seven seconds to be exact, he had downed the popcorn and had started on the pizza. He slurped all the cheese and toppings off the three slices first of all. Then he ate the crust from all three pieces. Then he rolled up all three slices and shoved it in his mouth, and down his throat. Ash stopped his watch.

"Three minutes and twenty-six seconds!"

Ash, Misty, and Max were all very happy, but Taylor was anything but.

"So basically you taught him how to eat way to much food as quickly as possible? Am I the only person this is gonna be a repeat of the Thanksgiving Incident all over again?"

Ash and Misty ignored her and Max just smiled and said, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you have the same ability as dad and I?"  
"Umm… I guess."

"So stop complaining. Plus, you were the one who started the Thanksgiving Incident."

"Let's drop it."

"If you say so. But dad, I don't want any dinner. I'm just going to go to bed. Night."

Max trudged away while everyone else sat down to dinner. They had chicken and wild rice casserole. After dinner, Taylor washed the dishes while Ash went upstairs to bed, and Misty sat down to watch the news. After she had washed the dishes, Taylor got clean and proceeded to tackle the hardest part of her day. Picking out what to wear tomorrow.

After three hours of searching, she had narrowed it down to two choices. She asked Max for his opinion.

"So Max, do you think I should wear the blue dress, or the green dress?"  
"Well, I think I know what Ian will wear, and the blue one would look best with it."

"Oh. By the way, why are you the bottom bunk? I would have bet my life savings that you were going to snag the top bunk."

"I'm too bloated to climb anything more that the stairs."

"Oh. By the way, have you told mom or dad you're going to the dance as well?"

"And ruin my reputation as a bachelor and girl-hater? No. Not yet."

Just then, Misty walked in to the room.

"So you're going to the dance tomorrow. And you weren't going to tell me?"  
"Umm… how'd you know I was going to the dance?"  
"I was walking upstairs to go to bed when I heard you talking."

"Oh. Okay. Well, now you know."

"Who are you going with?"

"Ian's sister, Liz."

"Oh. What about you Taylor?"

"Ian."

"Okay. Have fun at the dance."  
Misty walked away while Taylor climbed up into the top bunk.

"Goodnight little bro."

"Goodnight. And I'm NOT your little brother."

"If you say so."

The next morning, Taylor was awoken to the sound of laughter.

"Who's laughing?"

Max popped his head over the railing.

"I am."

"Why?"

"Because I was thinking of how you started the Thanksgiving Incident."

"Why must you bring that up?"

"Because it was funny."

"Well, drop it now!"

"Fine."

Max stomped off while Taylor got ready for school. After breakfast, Taylor walked into the T.V. room and found Max, who was playing as Kirby, fighting Bowser on his Gamecube.

"You better get your backpack. Ian and Liz said they'd be here in about ten seconds. Nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one…"

DING-DONG!

"Wow. You're good."

"I know."

"Tell them I'll be down in a second."

"Okay."

Taylor walked over to the door while Max dashed upstairs. She opened the door and two teens walked inside.

"Hi Taylor."

"Hi Liz."

"Hey Taylor."

"Hi Ian."

Max walked downstairs with his backpack on.

"Hi Liz. Hi Ian."

"Hi Max."

"Hi Max."

"Well now, shall we get going?"

"After you Taylor."

"What he said."

"Umm… yeah. What's up with the sudden Mr. Courteous act boys?"

"Well Liz, it's very simple, Taylor just learned how to pull a pillow out of nowhere. Seeing as her pillow is a deadly weapon in her hands, we're going to be extra nice to her. Well, at least I am. She loves Ian, so I don't think he's in trouble."

"MAX! THAT WAS A SECRET!"

Taylor flung her pillow out of nowhere directly into his face. He started to fall over, but then she hit him in the rear, making him stand up. He received a blow to the gut, making him double over. She slammed him in the face again, and finished off her combo attack with a painful hit in between the legs.

"So…much…pain. I'm gonna run for my life in the general direction of school now."

Max took off as fast as possible.  
"I'd better see if he's alright."

Liz ran after him. Ian looked at Taylor and blushed.

"Do you really love me? I mean, I knew you liked me, but do you love me?"

Taylor blushed.

"I'm going to murder my brother later. But yes. I do love you. Sorry."

"Why?"

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"Not really."  
"So, do you love me?"

"Umm…maybe."

"Just maybe?"

"Umm… I uh… I…I love you too."

Taylor beamed at him.

"Shall we get to school Ian?"

"Sure. Not that we have a choice. We have to go to school. Nothing else we could do."  
"True. Of we go then!"

And off they went. Then. Anyway, Ian smiled, locked the door which Taylor had forgotten to do, and ran to catch up with Taylor. Meanwhile, at the Indigo Plateau, the Pokemon League's publicist was holding a meeting for the Elite Four and the Pokemon Master.

"Okay. Here's the problem we're facing. As you can see, the popularity of the current Elite Four members and the Pokemon Master is at an all time low. We need to do something to boost your popularity. As you can see, Gary is the least popular out of all of you, so I should start off with him. Then I'll work on Steven's popularity, the Lance's, then Ash's, and I don't have to worry about Misty."

All of the boys were in an uproar.

"What do you mean I'm the least most popular? I'm awesome!"

"What? Lance is more popular then me?"

"Why is Misty more popular then me? I'm the Pokemon Master!"

"Yeah? I thought dragons were popular! Why am I the man in the middle?"

Susan, the publicist, pulled out a chart and started talking.

"Okay. Gary, you're the least most popular because you lose to much and most people say you're a quote 'big fat jerk' end quote. So you should probably help a charity or do community service. Steven, your Pokemon scare most of the people out there. Steel Pokemon just aren't very personable. So you should spend some time at hospitals or nursing homes with your Pokemon cheering up the people there. Lance, same thing goes for you. Ash, you need to stop being so confident. It gets on peoples nerves. Finally, Misty, you don't need to work on anything because every female trainer out there looks up to you. You're extremely popular. So, that's it. Have a nice day."

Susan walked off. Misty was pleased with herself, but everyone else was finding excuses.

"She's biased. How can she say I'm a jerk? I have a fan club of five thousand people for crying out loud!"

"She's crazy. Steel Pokemon are just misunderstood. Just look how cute and gentle my Skarmory is."

"She's a snob. Dragon Pokemon are graceful and popular."

"She's a freak. I'm not over confident. I am the Pokemon Master and have a five hundred battle winning streak."

"I'm the most popular member! I could just scream! I gotta tell my sisters!"

Misty hurried off to call her sisters, while the guys returned to work. Back at school, everyone was excited about the big dance. Well, almost everyone. For example, at the Teacher's Lounge the teachers were upset about the pandemonium that was inevitable that night. The janitor was dreading the mess of the dance. And a few kids were upset about not getting a date. But besides them, everyone was happy. Which brings us to the cafeteria. Liz, Max, Ian, and Taylor were all eating lunch and talking about the dance and Valentine's Day. Liz, Max, Ian, and Taylor were deep in talking about the cards they had received.

"I was surprised you didn't get a card from your secret admirer Max." Taylor said.

"I was just thinking about that Taylor."

"Yeah. Maybe they had second thoughts." Ian suggested.

Liz smiled. "I don't think so."

Why do you say that? If my secret admirer didn't give up or back out, why didn't I get a card?"

"Because I was your secret admirer."  
"You were my secret admirer Liz? Why didn't you tell me?" Max cried.

"Or me? I'm your brother!"

"Well, I didn't think it really mattered. Sorry."

"It doesn't matter Liz. I was just surprised that you were my secret admirer. But now it makes sense."

"Good."

"That still doesn't explain why you didn't tell me! I'm your own flesh and blood!"

"Do you tell me everything that goes on in your life Ian?"

"No."

"Then why should I tell you?"

"Good point."

After lunch was over and school was through for the day, everyone went home to get ready for the dance. Of course, pandemonium reigned supreme.

"Ahh! Where did my dress go?"

"Hmm… did you look in your closet?"

"Yes."

"Over to the right?"

"Yes."

"Right next to your pajamas?"  
"Ye… No."  
"Why don't you look there then?"

Taylor looked in her closet, over to the right, right next to her pajamas. She pulled out her blue dress.

"See. It was right where you'd left it."

"True. True."

"I'm ready. Since dinner is over, and I'm ready, I'm gonna head over to Liz's house."

"I'll meet you at the dance. Ian is going to come over here to pick me up."

Max walked downstairs and into the T.V. room. Misty turned away from the news to inspect his outfit.

"You look great! But you need to straighten your bow tie."

"Okay mom."

"Also, remember to be back by 10:00."

"Okay mom."

"Remember to call me if you're going to be late."

"Okay mom."

"Make sure your sister gets home on time as well."

"Okay mom."

"Say Hi to Liz for me."

"Okay mom."

"I'll see you later. Have a good time!"

"Okay mom. Bye."

Max walked out the door and down the street. After walking down five blocks and whistling the theme songs to five shows, Max arrived at Ian and Liz's house. Better known as the McGrubert residence. He was about to knock on the door when it opened and Ian walked out.

"Hi Max. I'm on my way to pick up your sister."

"I guessed as much. See you at the dance."

"Yeah. See you then."

Ian walked away as Max knocked on the door. It opened up almost instantly and Mr. McGrubert greeted him.

"Hello Max. How're you doing?"

"Pretty good Mr. McGrubert."

"So, you're taking my daughter to the dance?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Just to let you know, she becomes really hyper if she consumes to much sugar, and she has to be home by 10:30."

"Okay."

Just then, Liz walked in. Wearing a beautiful red dress I might add.

"Hi Max."

"Hi Liz. Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Bye Daddy."

"Bye Elizabeth."

"How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Liz."

"If you say so."

Max and Liz walked outside and made their way towards the school.

"Just to let you know Liz, you look absolutely gorgeous in that dress. Not that you aren't when you wearing anything else."

"Thank you. That was a very narrow save you made."

"True. So, I have to be home by 10:00, so I can stay until 9:45. Would you like to stay after I leave, or do you want me to walk you home?"

"I get really tired if I stay up to late. So could you walk me home?"

"Sure. In the case, we'd need to leave by 9:30 so I can get you home and then get back to my house on time."

"Okay. Fine with me."

"By the way, do you like my suit?"

"Yeah. The red jacket over the white shirt along with the black pants and shoes goes great with my dress!"

They passed the man in the kilt, who was currently singing a song.

"I wish you a Merry Christmas!

I wish you a Merry Christmas!

I wish you a Merry Christmas!

And a Happy New Year!"

"Umm… why are you still wearing that dress?"

"Look here young man, I told you already! It's a kilt!"

"Okay. Why are you singing a Christmas carol?"

"I feel extremely happy. So I'm singing a happy song!"

"Okay. C'mon Liz. Let's get a move on. We're gonna be late."

"Okay Max."

The man in the kilt shook his head.

"Those kids need to learn the true meaning of the holidays."

He walked off still shaking his head.

Meanwhile, Ian had just arrived at the Ketchum residence. He knocked on the door and Misty immediately opened it.

"Hello Ian. How're you doing?"

"Pretty good Mrs. Ketchum."

"So, you're taking my daughter to the dance?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Just to let you know, she becomes really hyper if she consumes to much sugar, and she has to be home by 10:00."

"Okay."

Just then, Taylor walked in. Wearing a beautiful blue dress I might add.

"Hi Ian."

"Hi Taylor. Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Bye mom."

"Bye Taylor."

They walked outside and made their way towards the school.

"Just to let you know Taylor, you look absolutely gorgeous in that dress. Not that you aren't when you wearing anything else."

"Thank you. That was a very narrow save you made."

"True. So, you have to be home by 10:00, so you can stay until 9:45. Do you want me to walk you home?"

"I get really tired if I stay up to late. So could you walk me home?"

"Sure. By the way, do you like my suit?"

"Yeah. The navy blue jacket over the white shirt along with the black pants and shoes goes great with my dress!"

They passed the man in the kilt, who was currently singing a song.

"I wish you a Merry Christmas!

I wish you a Merry Christmas!

I wish you a Merry Christmas!

And a Happy New Year!"

"Umm… why are you wearing a dress?"

"Look here young man, it's a kilt!"

"Okay. Why are you singing a Christmas carol?"

"I feel extremely happy. So I'm singing a happy song!"

"Okay. C'mon Taylor. Let's get a move on. We're gonna be late."

"Okay Ian."

Meanwhile, the Pokemon League's publicist was brainstorming ways to increase the Pokemon Master's popularity.

"Hmm… maybe I could take some pictures that promote how great of a father he is. I could sell them to the press and soon he would be known as the greatest Pokemon Master and a caring father. It's perfect! I'll get someone on it right away!" She dialed a friend of hers who happened to be a newspaper photographer.

"Hi, Jason? … Yeah. I have a job for you. Tail the Ketchum family and take some heart-warming pictures. … What? … Yeah, all of them. Not just Ash and Misty, but their kids as well. … You can start tonight. The kids are at some dance I think. … How many high schools are in Pallet Town, you dimwit? … I'll tell you. One. That's how many! So go there and start taking pictures! If you get some good some good photos, I'll pay you well. Bye."

She smiled and sat back in her swivel chair. She could just see her promotion now.

At the dance, Liz and Max had just arrived. They decided to wait a while before dancing, and headed over towards the refreshment table. After filling their bellies with sugar-filled Kool-Aid, they saw Taylor and Ian dancing and walked over to say Hi.

After the song was over, they walked onto the dance floor to greet them.

"Hi Ian. Hi sis."

"Hi bro. Hi Taylor."

"Hi bro. Hi Liz."

"Hi Max. Hi sis."

They chatted for a few seconds, and then the D.J. made an announcement.

"Hello everyone. I'm Rick Triple-Z and I'm your D.J. tonight. I hope you'll have a good time and that you don't try the punch. Believe me, that stuff is so full of sugar, you'll stay up all night. For those who've already had the punch, this next song is pretty fast-paced. So here we go!"

The song started and most people left the dance floor upon hearing the speed of the song. Max and Liz however, now hyped up on sugar, danced with extreme liveliness.

Most other people attempting to dance around them backed away from fear of injury. Really. After the song was over, they made their way outside to get some fresh air. On the roof, the kilted man was sitting there with a fishing pole.

"I'll make those two see the holiday spirit. The easiest way to do it is to appeal to the current holiday. So it looks like love is in the air!"

He spotted them and cast his line over a tree branch and lowered it over their heads. He had tied mistletoe and a bell to the end of he string. He shook the line and the bell rang. The teens looked up. Perfect. Meanwhile, Jason, the photo guy was peering over a bench at the teens. He looked at a photo. Then he compared it to the boy. No doubt about it. That boy was Max Ketchum. He picked up his camera and zoomed in. The two teens were looking up at something. Then they blushed and the girl started talking. And then they… Jason smiled. He was going to make some money tonight. Meanwhile, Max was enjoying the fresh air when he heard a ringing above him. He and Liz looked up and saw a bell and some mistletoe hanging above them. He looked at Liz.

"Well Max, think it's a little late for mistletoe. Don't you?"

"Of course."

And then they sat and held hands for a while, and then they heard a clicking noise. They looked around but saw no one. So they walked back inside to dance. Up in the D.J. booth, a heated debate was about to take place. Rick Triple-Z was about to put on another song when someone walked in the booth.

"Hey there Mr. D.J. type person! I want you to play this song. Please."

"Let me see. No way am I playing that garbage!"

"But it's funny!"

"No!"

"Look, you're going to play this song or my name isn't Chameleon Freak!"

"That's an odd name."  
Chameleon Freak walked over to put the CD in, but Rick Triple-Z stated to drag him out of the booth by his ear.

"Ow! My ear! The pain! But please! It's crucial to the story that I play this song!"

"What story? Are you okay? This is definitely not a story. If it was, I'd let you play this song."

"Okay. Now observe. I write that all of a sudden my hair turns purple and…"

All of a sudden, Chameleon Freak's hair turned purple.

"And now I write that it turns back to normal and…"

Then his hair turned back to normal.

"Wow. I'm a believer now. But that means that my life is meaningless! WAHHH!"  
"It's not meaningless. Every character has a crucial purpose in the story."

"Well, I don't like my purpose. Can you make me a world famous D.J. who has over twenty billion dollars and I live on a private island off the Coast of Cinnabar Island?"

"Sure. Hold on just a second while I write that down."

After finishing writing down that Rick Triple-Z all of a sudden became a world famous D.J. who had over twenty billion dollars and he lived on a private island off the coast of Cinnabar Island, he disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Chameleon Freak smiled.

"It's so easy to get what you want in this world. All you have to do is bribe someone by writing down what they want most, and then you get whatever you want! Ya!"

He put the CD in and soon the music started up. It went something like this.

_Krabby, Snubbull, Venonat,  
Mankey, Chansey and Zubat  
Slowking, Ditto, Butterfree,  
Lugia and Caterpie   
Oddish, Poliwag, Goldeen,  
Elekid and Nidoqueen  
Victreebel and Magneton -  
Everybody POLKAMON!_

_Aerodactyl, Seel, Machoke,  
Marill, Moltres, then Slowpoke,  
Articuno, Ditto, Muk,  
Flareon and ol' Psyduck  
Cloyster, Kingler, Shellder, Gloom,  
Snorlax and of course Vileplume  
Zapdos and Charmeleon -  
Everybody POLKAMON!_

_It's time to polka  
For Ponyta and Pidgey too  
Come on put on your lederhosen  
And try not to stamp on little Pikachu  
You'd better grab yourself a partner  
Like Tentacruel or Bulbasaur (Bulbasaur!)  
Hold on a minute - there's still at least a hundred and twenty-seven more_

_Including Ledyba and Omastar  
Jynx, Bellossom and Magmar  
Geodude and Arcanine  
Jiggypuff and Mr. Mime  
Don't forget about Sandslash,   
Exeggcute and Rapidash  
Lickitung and Porygon -  
Everybody POLKAMON!_

_Everybody POLKAMON!  
Everybody POLKAMON!_

About half way through the song, Taylor grabbed Ian by the arm and dragged him outside.

"If I had to listen to that annoying song for one more second, I would have screamed."

"I hear you. Hey look, mistletoe!"

"Someone must be pretty stupid if they think mistletoe is still in effect after Christmas!"

Up on the roof, the man in the kilt watched as they sat down and held hands while talking.

"At least it's a start. But I will get them into the spirit of the different holidays even if it kills me. Teens these days just don't have the spirit. They don't have the spirit of Valentine's Day even! These are supposed to be the people with 'raging hormones'. Someone was way off when they thought of that. Oh well. Wingulligan's Island is on in five minutes!"

Meanwhile, Jason was standing in his darkroom developing the photos.

"They may just be photos of them holding hands, but I'm sure that publicist will pay me big bucks for it!"

He finished and faxed them to Susan, the publicist. He got a phone call from her about five minutes later.

"What are you thinking? No one wants to see pictures of them holding hands. They want to see touching scenes that will make them go 'Awww'! That is not something you'd get from someone holding hands! I expect better photos next time!"

She hung up the phone. Oh boy. This was going to be harder than he had thought.

Meanwhile, Max and Liz had just arrived at Liz's doorstep.

"Well, see you tomorrow Liz."

"Yeah. See you then. By the way, tonight was fun."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Good night."

"Good night."

Liz walked inside and Max started heading home. Over at his house, or doorstep to be more precise, Ian and Taylor were saying good night to each other.

"Well, Good night Taylor."

"Good night Ian."

They started leaning closer towards each other. They closed their eyes, puckered up their lips, and were about to kiss when the door opened.

"Hey Taylor! How was the dance? Max isn't back yet but he'd better hurry! He has five minutes until curfew! How are you Ian? Was Taylor well behaved?"

"DADDY! How long were you watching us?"

"Umm… since you stepped onto the doorstep. You still haven't answered my questions."

It took one look at Taylor's face for Ian to realize that she was on the verge of pulling out her pillow.

"Umm… I've got to get home now. Good night!"

Ian scampered away just as Max walked up the driveway.

"Hey Taylor! How was the dance?"

Taylor, who needed to vent her anger, once again flung her pillow out of nowhere directly into his face. He started to fall over, but then she hit him in the rear, making him stand up. He received a blow to the gut, making him double over. She slammed him in the face again, and finished off her combo attack with a painful hit in between the legs.

"The pain. I'm going to go inside before you… too late!"

Taylor was still somewhat angry so she hit him in the head repeatedly until he ran inside.

Ash grabbed the pillow from Taylor, but it disappeared in his hand.

"Where'd your pillow go?"

"You need to have a grasp on quantum physics to understand."

"Umm… Okay. Anyway, you need to stop hitting your brother so much."

"But he annoys me so much it's the only suitable retaliation."

"Be that as it may, you need to be nicer to him. If I hear you've hit him again for no good reason, no allowance for a month!"

"No way!"

"Wanna make it two months?"

"Fine."

They walked inside. Ash walked upstairs to go to bed while Taylor went into the T.V. room.

"HIDE ME!"

Max leapt up from the chair he'd been sitting in and rocketed from the room into his room.

Misty, who was sitting on the couch, raised an eyebrow.

"Did you do something to scare your brother?"

"Umm… besides the fact my brother ran away from me in fear, what would give you such a outlandish idea?"

"Taylor Lillian Ketchum, why was he terrified of you?"

"I uh… kinda beat him into a soggy and pitiful pulp with my pillow."

"I thought I told you only to use your pillow in situations when you absolutely need to!"

"You're one to talk."  
"Excuse me?"

"You hit dad and anyone else who annoys you even the slightest bit. Just the other day, you hit a complete and total stranger for no good reason!"

"No. That man kept ringing an annoying bell and trying to take my money!"

"He was collecting money for charity!"

"Oh. He should have said that."

"He couldn't if you knocked his teeth out after three seconds of bell ringing!"

"Umm… stop trying to change the subject! You were only supposed to use your pillow when it was necessary!"

"I had a good reason! He's an annoying little brother!"

From upstairs, they heard Max shout, "I am NOT your little brother!"

"Umm… anyway mom, he annoys me only an hourly basis! He gets on my nerves!"

"That's NOT a good reason. If I hear you used your pillow irresponsibly, I'll take away your television privileges for a week!"

"Mom! That's not fair!"

"Wanna make it two weeks?"

"Fine. Good night."

Taylor walked upstairs into her room. Max pretended to be asleep, but his trembling and whimpering gave him away.

"Good night Max."

"DON'T HIT ME! Umm… What I mean to say is, Good night."

Taylor fell asleep. That's a pretty simple sentence right there. You don't find quality sentences like that just anywhere. Anyway, Max was bust plotting his vengeance. Taylor would pay for pummeling him with a pillow. She would pay!

---------------------------------

Chameleon Freak: Wow! Revenge of the Brother is just around the corner! Today's song is… Rufus Rumpus Johnson Brown! Here we go!

Rufus Rumpus Johnson Brown!

Whatcha gonna do when the rent comes round?

Whatcha gonna say?

Whatcha gonna pay?

Whatcha gonna do on the judgment day?

You know, I know, rent means dough!

Landlords gonna kick ya out in the snow!

Oh. Rufus Rumpus Johnson Brown!

Whatcha gonna do when the rent comes round?

Yeah!

And that's the show!


	3. Revenge Of The Brother

Flee For Your Life! 

This fanfic has been brought to you by the author Chameleon Freak!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Pokemon. I just want a Tododile, and then I'll be happy.

Flee For Your Life!

Chapter 3: Revenge of the Brother

Max ran as fast as he could, but his sister was gaining. He was tired and his breath came in ragged gasps, but he had to keep going. All of a sudden, the guy in the kilt appeared in front of him. He started singing,

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of Auld Lang Syne?

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear, for Auld Lang Syne!

We'll take a cup o' kindness yet, for Auld Lang Syne!"

"Move it mister!"

"Did you know those are the actual lyrics for the song? Pretty odd lyrics if you ask me."

"MOVE IT!"

Max swerved to avoid running into him, and fell down. He started to get up, but Taylor was upon him. He turned and saw her swing the pillow at him. Next thing he knew, his head was flying through the air and Taylor was pointing at his face.

"Look Daddy! Teacher says, every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings!"

"AHHHHHH!"

Max sat up in bed, sweat dripping down his face. Taylor, who was woken up by the scream from below her, peered down at him.

"You okay?"

"No. I had a nightmare."

"Awww! The wittle baby had a big scary nightmare!" She teased.

"Stop it. The nightmare was about you ya know!"

"What do you mean?"

"You were chasing me, and then this guy in a kilt started singing Auld Lang Syne, and then I fell and you decapitated me with your pillow."

Taylor stared at him for a moment and then burst into laughter.

"That's supposed to be scary? More like a barrel of laughs!"

"Ergh! Why are you always so mean to me? You hit me with pillows, you laugh at me, you get the top bunk, and you always call me little!"

"That's because you are."

"ARGH! Mark my words Taylor, I will have my revenge! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in the next month! But when you least expect it, you will feel my wrath! So be afraid, be very afraid!"

"Oooh! Your wrath! I'm so scared! NOT! You can't pull a prank on me! Remember all the other times you've tried?"

"Umm… I don't know what you're talking about!"

"I'll tell you then. To start off, let's go back a couple of years to the time I gave you an empty box for your birthday! You took a bucket of water, put it over a door, and then called my name so that I would come to see who'd called. That was an extremely old prank, and I saw right through it. So I pretended to have my hands full and asked you to open the door. You did and got a bucket of water on your head instead of mine! Then last year on April Fool's Day, you taped the handle on the spraying thingy in the sink so when I turned on the water to do the dishes, I'd get soaked. But you forgot and turned on the water to get a glass of water and got a face full of water right in front of me. Those are just a few of the big mishaps in your long and sorry history of pranking people."

"Oh. Well, what if I told everyone about the Thanksgiving Incident."

"You wouldn't. Mom said she'd ground you if you did."

"Well, what if I accidentally let it slip that one Thanksgiving you ate too much. And then I let it slip that Grandma Ketchum went to the bathroom. And then I let it accidentally slip that you were going to get some more stuffing but puked right into the stuffing. And then I accidentally let it slip that while the rest of us were upstairs putting you in bed, getting medicine, and such, Grandma Ketchum came out of the bathroom, and since her eyesight wasn't very good, got a big serving of stuffing. Finally, what if I accidentally let it slip that when we all came downstairs, except for you of course, Grandma Ketchum had downed all the stuffing and told mom that it was the best stuffing ever. When she found out you'd puked in it, she puked and then fainted with shock!"

"You'd still get grounded."

"Oh. Well, I'll still have my vengeance! Until that day comes, good night!"

Max went back to sleep, as did Taylor. Taylor woke up the next morning. She hopped down from the top bunk and saw her brother sitting at the computer on his favorite website. He was watching a cartoon.

"My mouth was a broken jpeg!"

"You don't understand! You all understand. I mean don't understand! WAAAAHHHH!"

"Hey Bubs, can I have my leg back now?"  
While it was a funny cartoon, Taylor wanted to check her e-mail. And so out came the pillow.

"Oh Max! Look what I have!"

Max turned around and paled.

"I thought my nightmare was over! AHHHHHHHH! HIDE ME! I MUST RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

Taylor checked her mail and then got ready for school. Ian and Liz showed up and they all walked to school, including Max, who was cowering behind Liz and Ian to keep away from his sister. About halfway through the walk to school, Ian got tired of having Max cower behind himself and his sister, so he reached into his backpack and pulled out a bag of what looked like green confetti.

"Check it out everyone! I bought this Skitty-nip yesterday for Liz's Skitty! It says it's super strong, but I don't believe it."

Then they heard a faint rumbling noise from all around them, and the next instant thousands upon thousands of Skitty's ran from everywhere and attacked Ian to get the bag of Skitty-nip. Within a few seconds of shock, Max called out his Blaziken, Taylor called out her Sceptile, and Liz called out, can you guess what it is? Not a Swampert if that's what you're thinking. She called out… her Skitty! While Blaziken and Sceptile quickly dispersed the rabid Skitty's, Liz's Skitty started mauling Ian. Liz quickly recalled her Pokemon.

"Oops. I guess that didn't really help that much."

Ian laid sprawled on the ground moaning. Taylor crouched next to him.

"Ian? Are you okay?"

"Everything…hurts. I…can't…feel…anything. Help…me…please."

Max stared at him.

"Wow. He must really be in pain if he has three dots between each word!"

"It's my fault. He bought the Skitty-nip for me."

"Look. This isn't the time. I'll go get help. You girls make sure he's okay."

Max dashed off to get help.

"I won't stop running until I get to a payphone!"

Five minutes later…

"Must stop running. So tired! Oh wait! I almost forgot! There's one in the dry cleaners!"

Max dashed off to the dry cleaners. Upon reaching the dry cleaners, Max discovered they wouldn't open for another hour. So he ran around the town looking for a payphone. Seeing as this is Pallet Town, it didn't take long for him to realize there were no payphones around. Plus, the hospital was in Viridian City. So he zipped over to where Taylor and Liz were trying to calm Ian.

"Sorry, but there aren't any payphones around! If only we had a cell phone."

Liz sat up.

"I wasn't thinking clearly, seeing as my brother was just mauled by a herd of rabid Skitty's. But I have a cell phone with me."

Liz called 911 and soon an ambulance came and took Ian away. Liz called her parents and told them what happened, and then they made their way to school. All through school they were worried about whether Ian would make it or not. So when school was over, they made their way to the hospital. Once there, they found Liz's parents and asked how Ian was doing. Apparently, Ian was recovering, but he was in shock and therefore oblivious to what was happening around him. He could eat and drink, but that was about it. So when they went in to see Ian in his full body cast, he just sat there and didn't move or make a sound. After trying to get him to talk for a while, Max and Taylor left and made their way home. Along the way, Max spoke up.

"Sorry your boyfriend was attacked by rabid Skitty's. I was gonna tell everyone about the Thanksgiving Incident, but I'll wipe the slate clean."

He was expecting a pillow to the face for calling Ian her boyfriend, which was true, but she didn't like it when people said that. Instead of a head support to the face, she hugged him.

"You can be an okay brother sometimes."

"Thanks."

They arrived home and ate their dinner. Afterwards, everyone went about his or her regular business. Ash's snores were soon heard coming from his bedroom. Misty could be heard commenting about the news. And Taylor and Max were upstairs getting ready to hit the hay. Instead of fighting over the top bunk, Max let Taylor sleep there without complaining. You see, he was trying to be nice to her for two main reasons. The first reason is that her boyfriend was just mauled by rabid Skitty's. The second and most important reason is that because her boyfriend was just mauled by rabid Skitty's, her emotions would probably not be happiness, love, and such. So he didn't want to upset her and make her start at him with a pillow again. So for the next week, Max was as nice to her as possible. Once he was sure she had gotten over it, he left Taylor and Liz alone for a while so they could talk about how Ian was doing. Since it was lunch and Max had finished his lunch, he decided to walk around and do nothing in particular. After five minutes of doing nothing in particular, some shouted at him.

"CIRCLES!"

Max looked up.

"Who said that?"

A boy sitting alone at a nearby table waved at him.

"That would be me. You see, for the first four minutes, I was fine. BUT I CAN'T STAND YOU WALKING IN CIRCLES AROUND MY TABLE! If you're trying to hypnotize me, you can do better."

"So, what are you saying?"

"Could you please stop walking in circles around my table? There are twenty-seven tables in the cafeteria. Why don't you try a different one? Please."

"Oh. I'm sorry. See, a friend of mine was mauled by rabid Skitty's. So I was kinda deep in thought."

"Oh. In that case, you can walk in circles around my table as much as you like."

"Thanks. By the way, I'm Max Ketchum."

"Sam McGee. Pleased to meet'cha Max. By the way, would that be your sister over there?"

"Yeah. Her name's Taylor, but how could you tell?"

"Well, you spend a lot of time with her, plus she has an uncanny resemblance to you. So she probably is your sister."

"Okay. So Sam, would you like to meet my friends?"

"Why not? I've got nothing better to do."

They made their way over to Taylor and Liz.  
"Taylor, Liz, I'd like you to meet my new friend Sam."

"Hi Sam. I'm Taylor!"

Liz didn't answer. She just narrowed her eyes and scowled at Sam. Max noticed this.

"Umm… Liz? Why are you looking at Sam as though he's unfit to walk on the earth?"

Sam spoke up.

"She thinks I'm a blemish upon the family name. That I'm annoying, rude, weird, and that I smell like a rotten tuna fish sandwich. Did I leave anything out dearest cousin?"

"Wait just a minute! You two are cousins?"

"Liz would hate to admit she had any relation to me, but yes. I am her cousin. Say, where's my other cousin? You know, Ian."

"Don't you remember Sam? I told you he was attacked by rabid Skitty's!"  
"No. You told me your best friend had been attacked by rabid Skitty's. Not Ian. But I must visit him after school."

Liz looked outraged.

"If you think for one second you're going to annoy him, you've got another thing coming!"

"Tell me cousin, why do you and the rest of your family detest me so much?"

"I'll tell you why! Remember the Christmas Incident?"

Taylor looked shocked.

"You have a holiday incident that will plague you for the rest of your life? Me too! Do you remember what happened?"

"I try to forget."

Liz frowned.

"Well, ever since then, we've disliked you."

Sam instantly retorted.

"Wow. You were pretty straightforward about that. Anyway, oh, c'mon! I was two years old! How was I supposed to know the tree wasn't held firmly in place! How was I supposed to know the lights would short circuit and catch the tree on fire! How was I supposed to know that all of the presents weren't for me! I'm sure any one of us could have made that mistake!"

"No way! I think you purposely knocked over our tree and opened all of the presents!"

"I was two years old! I saw a present, I reached for it, and then I accidentally knocked the tree over! "

"Whatever."

Liz walked off, and Max ran after her. Taylor turned to Sam.

"No need to feel glum. I know how you feel. You think your family has forsaken you. But they're just mad."

"How do you know?"

"While it was a Christmas incident for you, it was a Thanksgiving incident with me."  
"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So, what'd you do?"

Taylor launched into the tale of the Thanksgiving Incident. Halfway across the school, Max was trying to calm Liz down.

"Why are you so mad at him?"

"He ruined that Christmas! Plus, even though he apologizes, I don't think he's sorry."

"So you think he's a Christmas spoiling lying cousin?"

"Pretty much."

"I think you should give him a chance."

"Maybe you're right."

"It's up to you."

Just then, the man in the kilt walked by.

"You should give him a chance! Forgive him! It's the holiday spirit!"

Max walked over to the kilted man.

"Look, who are you?"

"I'm the Kilted Wonder!"

"What?"

"You know. I'm a superhero!"

"No you aren't!"  
"Yes I am! Remember that old saying."

"No."

"Me neither. I've got to go spread the Holiday Spirit! Away!"

The Kilted Wonder dashed off and Max walked back to Liz.

"Now then, what were we talking about?"

Back to Taylor and Sam, they were running as fast as they possibly could to escape the evil velociraptors and… oh wait, wrong story. In reality, if you could call it that, Taylor had just finished the story of the Turkey-Day Incident. Sam was impressed.

"Wow! That has the extremely funny quality of a humorous story!"

"Yeah. Bizarre."

"Look! It's Absurd!"

"It's Insane!"

"It's the Kilted Wonder!"

"Who?"

"You know! The guy who spreads holiday cheer!"

"Who?"

"The guy in the kilt who sings Christmas carols all year round!"

"Who?"

"Why do you keep saying who?"

"What?"

"Can you stop that?"

"Why?"

"You know that advertisement from a while back? 'Why ask why?'"

"When?"

"Goodbye."

"Wait! I was just trying to cheer you up!"

"Why?"

"C'mon! You were upset because Liz was mean to you."

"Who?"

"SAM!"

"What?"

"Please stop it right now!"

"When?"

"Stop it!"

"Where?"

"Okay. I won't do it anymore."

"Good to hear it."

"So, I have to get to class now."

"I'll join you."

"You're in my class?"

"Yes. I've always sat at the front, but apparently you didn't notice the back of my head."

He turned around and she realized that she saw the back of his head at least once during class.

"Oh! I remember now! You sit in the fourth seat from the window in the front row!"

"Brilliant deduction! Now Watson, onto the jolly old classroom!"

"Why are you speaking with an English accent? Plus, I'm a Ketchum! Not a Watson!"

"I know. Haven't you ever read Sherlock Holmes?"

"Who?"

"Cripes! You've never read good old Sherlock Holmes! You, my friend, need to accompany me to the library after school."

"Why?"

Sam looked frustrated.

"Don't start that whole thing again! Please!"

"Fine. But why are we going to the library?"

"To get a Sherlock Holmes book for you to read of course!"

"Oh! Of course."

"A horse is a horse! Of course of course!"

"Umm… Let's just get to class."

"Can do, will do, done!"

Sam dashed off and Taylor followed. In the classroom, Max and Liz were already seated.

Max waved when they walked in.

"Hi sis! Hi Sam!"

Sam waved back and plopped down in the front row. Taylor walked over and sat down next to Max. Class went by quickly, and soon school was over. Taylor, Max, and Liz were making their way home when Sam popped up. Liz narrowed her eyes yet once again.

"Hello Sam."

"Why can't you and your family just bury the hatchet Liz?"

Max saw the argument about to unfold and intervened.

"So Sam, what brings you here?"

"You mean to the sidewalk?"

"Umm… yeah."

"Well, Taylor said she'd go with me to the library."

"Why?"

"What is it with you people and one word questions that start with the letters 'w' and 'h'?"

"What?"

"ARGH! Look, I was going to check some Sherlock Holmes books out for Taylor, but I thought she might like to pick them out."

"Oh."

Sam turned to Taylor.

"So are you coming or not?"

"Why not?"  
"Is that a rhetorical question?"

"Yes."

"Good. Let's go!" Sam darted off in the general direction of the Pallet Town Public Library. Taylor followed after him. When they arrived at the library, Sam immediately turned to Taylor and asked her the all-important question.

"So Taylor, do you have a library card?"

"Umm… No."  
"You don't! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you were going to check the book out!"

"Oh. I guess I could. But that defeats the whole purpose."

"What purpose?"

"I'll have get back to you on that."

"Okay. Now where are the Sherlock Holmes books?"

"In the mystery section."

They made their way to the mystery section and located the Sherlock Holmes books. While Taylor made her selection as to which collection of Sherlock Holmes tales to check out, Sam went off on a talk about his favorite story.

"My personal favorite would have to be 'The Speckled Band.' It's about this woman whose creepy old family member is trying to kill her and gain her fortune. It's interesting because he uses a snake to do his dirty deeds. He trained it to travel through the air conditioning duct to her room, travel down a rope, bite her and inject it's deadly venom, and then travel back to his room to be locked in a safe so no one would find it. I like when they're crossing the lawn and the cheetah… where'd you go?"

Sam looked around but couldn't find Taylor. He walked around the bookshelves and found her looking in the romance section.

"There you are. Did you find a Sherlock book you liked?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to look at the books over here."

"Oh. So I take it you like romance books?"

"Yeah. I guess you could even call me a hopeless romantic."

"Why would I call you hopeless? I've never heard that saying before."

"Well, I don't know actually. I've just been called that before."

"Whatever. I'm not one for romance anyway. Too mushy."

"Mushy?"

"Gross. As my mother would say, I'm not very mature. Oh well. Let's go check out."

Sam checked out the book and they walked out of the library.

"Don't forget Taylor, that book's due back in two weeks."

"Okay."

Sam made his way to his house while Taylor made her way to her own residence. When she arrived at home, she found Max in a sulky mood.

"Why so upset?"

"I walked Liz home, and apparently, Ian is better, but he's not very healthy anymore. So Ian and his family are moving to Littleroot Town for Ian's health. But Liz is staying behind."

"So why are you glum?"

"Ian's my best friend!"

"Oh. When are they moving?"

"Next week. They already found a house and they're going to keep their house up here as a vacation home."

"Where's Liz going to stay?"

"With relatives."

"Which relatives?"

"Sam and his family. They live a couple of blocks from here."

Any friendship she may have had with Sam evaporated. In her opinion, it was Sam's fault her umm…'boyfriend' was moving away. Taylor ran up to her room while Max went back to watching T.V. Guess what! It's time for another subplot! Yay! Across the ocean, on another continent, in a distant land, there lived a content family. Now, this family consisted of a mom, a dad, and two teenage twin sisters. If you guessed that this family was none other than May, Brock, Abby, and Courtney, give yourself a pat on the back. Anyway, Brock was an awesome gym leader, May was content with being a world champion Pokemon Coordinator, and Abby and Courtney were happy in school. One day, the two sisters where walking home from school.

"So Abby, what do you think of that new boy band?"

"Didn't you hear? They were lip-synching all along!"

"Oh. So Abby, what did you think of that new movie?"

"That Thing You Doduo?"

"Yeah."

"It's a pretty good movie. I liked that one part. You know what I'm talking about?"

"Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters?"

"Yeah!"

"That was funny."

"Hey look! Look's like someone's moving in next-door!"

"Let's go welcome them to the neighborhood!"

They walked over to the house, past the moving van, and knocked on the front door. A teenage boy about their age opened it.

"Can I help you?"

"We just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I'm Abby and this is my twin sister Courtney!"

"Oh. I'm Ian McGrubert. Those are my parents…"

He pointed at two people moving a couch inside. Then he turned back to them.

"So you two are twins?"

Courtney nodded while Abby stared at Ian.

"Yeah. I'm Courtney and this is Abby. You can tell us apart because I have a scar on my left arm. I was attacked by an Raticate once."

"Oh. I was attacked by a lot of rabid Skitty's not to long ago."

Courtney grimaced at the thought. She knew that Skitty's had surprising strength in their jaws.

"So where did you move from?"

"Pallet Town."

"Wow! I used to live there!"

"Where?"

"1031 Sycamore Street."

"That's where we lived!"

"Bizarre!"

"Say, we knew another pair of twins in Pallet. They weren't exactly alike though. One was a boy and the other was a girl."  
"Were they're names Max and Taylor?"

"Yeah!"

"We knew them then. We were the best of friends until we moved away. How are they?"

"Pretty good. My sister is going out with Max."

Abby straightened up.

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah. Her name's Liz. Mom and Dad thought it would be unfair to make her leave all her friends just because I wasn't feeling well, so she's living with my aunt and uncle. Say, why are you staring at me like that?"

"Umm…no reason."

Abby was blushing. Just then, The Kilted Wonder popped his head out of a box.

"Hey! This isn't Johto! Must have taken a wrong turn in Albuquerque!"

Ian frowned.

"The one good thing about moving here is that we'd get away from you! Why are you here?"

"I thought I'd spread the holiday cheer to the people of Jamaica! But I got lost and decided to take a nap in this box of Beanie Babies! I also found this game of Clue! I'm very good when I play myself."

"AHHHH! Those things are worth a fortune! You've ruined the collectors value!"

Ian dashed over to a box of cutlery and pulled out a carving knife.

"Ian McGrubert, on the front porch, with a knife! How's that for a game of Clue?"

The Kilted Wonder dashed off in the general direction of the airport. Abby stared at Ian.

"You collect Beanie Babies?"

"No. My mom does, so I know all about them. I used to play with them a long time ago."

Abby picked up where Ian left off.

"In a galaxy far, far away."

"You like Staryu Wars?!"

"Yeah."  
"Me too!"

"I can't wait for 'Staryu Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith' to come out!" (A/N I just couldn't blemish the final Star Wars film. Also, everyone keeps telling me not to put these notes in the story, but they'd seem out of place at the end of the chapter, and I'm not gonna publish these things in an actual book. I'm just sharing my stories to other fanfic fans online. So what I'm trying to say is, GET OFF MY BACK!) Ian and Abby started talking about Staryu Wars while Courtney decided to go home. She despised Staryu Wars, and she knew that once her sister started talking about it, she went on for hours. She arrived home and went to get a snack. May was in the kitchen.

"Hi mom. Whatcha making?"

"I'm trying to make a salad for dinner. I was never much of a cook, but the recipe seems simple enough."

"Call me crazy mom, but I don't think you fry the lettuce in vegetable oil with a bread batter over it."

May looked at her recipe book. She flipped back and forth between two pages.

"Stupid book. The pages were stuck together. I was combining a salad with a fried fish recipe. Oh well, fried lettuce, tomatoes, celery, and spinach for dinner then!"

Having lost her appetite, Courtney went up to her room and put away her backpack. Then she got on the computer and decided to serve up justice online with Unreal Tournament 2020. Yeah, sixteen years have gone by and Unreal Tournament still stands strong! Anyway, she logged on under her nom de plume, which is another way to say assumed name, GutBuster2020. I like that name for some reason. I have this catchy little jingle for it. 'Who ya gonna call? GutBuster!' It's kinda like the Ghostbusters theme song. Anyhow, She was playing against one player in a one-on-one capture the flag match. This player was MaxK12. Can you guess who that would be? Well, I'll tell you. Max Ketchum is not very creative with his online names. So Courtney Slate, that's Brock's last name, was up against Max Ketchum. Life's full of coincidences, isn't it? So after fighting each other for a while, Courtney came out on top. Then she left her room and went downstairs, seeing as it was dinnertime. Now, you may be wondering why I just went through that whole Unreal Tournament thing, but it has a significance that will be quite obvious later on in the story. So anyway, while Brock, Abby, and Courtney were trying to consume May's abysmal cooking without puking, the Ketchum family was just getting ready for a wonderful weekend of doing nothing. See, I figure that Kanto and Hoenn have about a 12-hour time difference in this story. So while it was 6:30 P.M. on a Friday in Hoenn, it was 6:30 A.M. on a Saturday in Kanto. And as you should know by now, Max is an early riser. So, Max logged off the Internet and ate some breakfast. Then, seeing as Taylor was on the couch watching T.V. and she had her pillow in one hand, he decided to go for an early morning walk.

"Taylor, I'm going for a walk. Okay?"

Taylor yawned in response and Max walked out the door. He walked slowly as to enjoy the cool morning air, the dew on the ground, and the sweet smell of coffee in the air. Then he realized he smelled coffee so he dashed off in search of his favorite beverage. He turned corner after corner and passed store after store until he smashed into a jogger by accident.

"Sorry about that. I just smelled coffee."

"No problem Max. Except that you just spilt my coffee."

Max got up from the ground and saw he had just run into Sam. He also noted that Sam had coffee all over his shirt.

"Sorry. I love coffee though. I was trying to find some to buy, but almost all the stores around here are convenience or drug stores."

"No problem. I love coffee as well. I like to fill the cup halfway with coffee, fill it up the rest of the way with creamer, and then dump half a cup of sugar into the mix. The result keeps me full of energy and without hunger for the rest of the morning."

"I like mine black. Any sugar or cream and I feel sick at my stomach."

"Oh. Say, the other day I said hi to Taylor and she shot daggers at me."  
"She what?!"

"Out of her eyes. It's an expression. I thought everybody knew it. But she didn't shoot daggers out of her eyes at me. She just shot me a mean look, that's all. And when I say mean, I mean mean. Know what I mean?"

"My head hurts."

"Oh. Sorry. Anyway, why was she looking at me like that?"

"There are two possible answers. First, she thinks it's all your fault that Ian moved away, or second, her eyesight's failing so she was squinting."

"Squinting is not a mean look."

"Then you've never seen her squint. She wrinkles her brow, tilts her head down, and narrows her eyes. Apparently, it's quite an effective method for her."

"Oh. That's what she did."

"Then that settles it. She thinks it's all your fault."

"Okay. How did you come to that conclusion?"

"She shot you a mean look, but she made it look like she was squinting so that if you asked me, I'd think she was squinting. But she has 20/20 vision."

"Oh. Now my head hurts. Oh well. I'm way behind schedule. I should be at Bakerson's Bakery by now. Must go. Bye!"

Sam jogged off and Max made his way towards home. On the way, he saw Liz was sitting in the park. So naturally, he made his way over to ask her if she could talk some sense into Taylor. First off, he explained the predicament. Then…

"So Liz, could you talk some sense into Taylor?"

"Are you kidding? I think it's his fault as well."  
"You know, you seemed a lot nicer when I first met you. Is something wrong?"

"My family moved away, I'm living with my lunatic of a cousin, and I've got no friends!"

"What're Taylor and I, next door neighbors?"

"No. You're my friends. But I mean like a boyfriend."

"Again I'll say, what am I, A next door neighbor?"

"I mean someone who loves me. Someone who'll stay by me no matter what. Someone who'll pledge their undying love to me anytime I ask!"

"Umm… again I'll say, what am I, a next door neighbor?"

Liz looked up at him. This is expected seeing as she's sitting down and Max's standing up. Crumb. I just ruined the mood.

"Y…You mean to say that you'd do all those things?"

"Yeah. What'd you think?"

"I thought this was just some High School crush that wouldn't last."

"Why?"  
"Because we're in High School."

"And?"

She shrugged.

"I'd just heard that these things don't last."

"Well, just because someone says that, doesn't mean it's true."

The Kilted Wonder walked by.

"Now that's the holiday spirit! Wait just a sec…"

He climbed a tree behind them and lowered some mistletoe.

"So you're the guy who lowered mistletoe over us at the dance?"

"Yeah."

Max shook the tree and The Kilted Wonder fell out onto the ground.

"Look. Everyone is different and progresses at their own rate! Stop trying to force 'the holiday spirit' on us! Why not stick to your superhero job and save people?"

"W…Well I thought that I was saving people from the gloom of everyday life and cheering them up."

"Can you do that to other people then instead of doing it to just us?"  
"I could, but someone paid me to do this and get you two to kiss. Being a superhero isn't the best paying job!"

"Who paid you?"

"He wouldn't tell me his name. But I'll stop bothering you now. I've done nothing but upset you guys. So here, you can each have a complementary kilt!"

He gave them each a kilt and walked off.

Max sat next to Liz.

"So, just because someone said that doesn't mean it's true."

Liz smiled and then leaned against him.

"Thanks Max. You know, I wished this relationship wouldn't end."

"Looks like your wish came true."

In the bushes across from them, Jason the photographer was looking through his camera, hoping that the day he'd been waiting for had finally come. He'd paid that guy in the kilt, he'd had fresh mistletoe flown in from a special flower shop in Hoenn, and he'd followed this boy around for two weeks already. All his trouble was about to pay off because… 'CLICK' and then again… 'CLICK' he'd gotten the pictures he needed to get lots and lots of money from that publicist. His day has come. And so he dashed off to develop the two photos that would give me a reason to write lots and lots of chapters. Back at the bench, Liz was smiling and blushing at the same time. Her watch beeped and she looked at it.

"I've got to get home. Mom said she'd call in fifteen minutes to let me know how the trip was. I'll see you around."

She got up and dashed off to get home in time. Max, who'd completely forgotten about Taylor's anger at Sam, got up and walked home in a very good mood. Upon arriving home, he plopped down next to Taylor.

"Where have you been? And why do you smell like coffee and lip gloss at the same time?"

"Well, I was walking down the street and I walked into Sam by accident. He spilt the coffee he was carrying."

"Oh, serves him right."

"Why?"

"Because of him, Ian moved away!"

"How is it his fault?"

"It just is!"

"Why?"  
"Because Liz told me that she'd run into Sam the day before. She became mad because she remembered the Christmas Incident. So to cheer her up, Ian bought the Skitty-nip!"  
"I see, so it's his fault that Ian's parents decided to move down to Hoenn to improve his health until he was better?"

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't know that when Ian's better they're moving back? That's why they didn't sell their house!"

Taylor smiled.

"That's great! Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I thought you knew. Now, you should probably apologize to Sam for using him as a scapegoat."

"Not until you tell me why you smell like lip gloss."

"I'd hoped you'd forgotten about that."

Taylor pulled out her handy dandy pillow.

"Nope. So explain yourself!"

"Well…I was in the park."  
"And?"

"I saw Liz."

"And?"  
"I talked to her."

"And?"  
"I got a free kilt."  
"And?"  
"Liz got a free kilt."  
"And?"

"I sat next to her."

"And?"

"The bushes across from us clicked like a camera."  
"And?"

"My sister is really nosy."  
"And?

"She's also very persistent."

"And?"

At this, Taylor pulled her pillow back as if about to hit an oncoming baseball with it.

"Fine. We…umm…kissed."  
"And?"

"We kissed again."

"And?"  
"That's it."

"And? Oh, sorry. So you kissed her?"  
"Yeah."  
"Twice?"

"Yeah."

"And she was okay with that?"

"We kissed twice. She wouldn't let me kiss her a second time unless she was okay with that."

"Good point."

"You realize that throughout this month we've made so many good points we could probably out poke a porcupine?"

"Yeah."

"By the way, I was thinking that since Ian has a Swablu, you guys could be pen pals."

"Good thinking. But why not use the phone?"

"Because you'd talk to him forever and amass lots of money in phone bills."

"Good point."

"Poor porcupine."

"Stop it."

"So, you should probably call him once to propose this new idea to him."

"Okay."

"And then you should go apologize to Sam."

"Okay."

"And try not to take to long on the phone."

"Okay."

"And give me your life savings."

"Ok…HEY! Nice try, but no."

"I thought I should at least try."

"And there's nothing wrong with that."

So Taylor went to call Ian. Across town, Jason was showing his photos to Susan, the publicist.

"So what do you think?"

"I think I'd better send these photos to Pokemon magazine A.S.A.P." Pokemon is like People magazine. Now you know.

"So, what about my pay?"

"I'll see how much Pokemon want for them and then give you forty percent."

"Fine with me."

"I'll call them right now. Go wait in that chair while I call them."

She walked into her office and called Pokemon. Jason sat around and did nothing for a few minutes and then Susan walked back out. She wrote a check and handed it to Jason.

"There you go. Forty percent."

He looked at the check. $400.

"They sure wanted those photos. $500 a piece! Most magazines wouldn't pay half that much for two photos of teens smooching."

"What can I say, that magazine is known to pay a lot of money for photos like that. Anything they can get on a celebrity or their relations is usually bought for ten times what it's worth. They don't ask how much you want for it. They make offers. That's why I went to them first."

"Say, couldn't you get in trouble for doing this without asking Ash or Misty first. They could fire you for bad press."

"Are you kidding? They'll need me to cover up this whole thing. And I put your name as the photographer. Not mine. So they don't know I'm involved. Also, I know a great lawyer you could hire if Ash and Misty sue you."

Jason gulped, then left. Susan smiled. In a couple of days, she'd be promoted to head of public relations for helping the Ketchum family out of the mess she made. If not, she'd make more messes until she was head of public relations. Life was good. Meanwhile, in the park, The Kilted Wonder was playing his bagpipe. He'd just started Amazing Grace when Jason walked up.

"I need to talk to you."  
"If you want to hire me again, my answer is no way. Also, how'd you find me?"

"Bagpipe's aren't the quietest instrument in the world."

"That would be the dog whistle."

The Kilted Wonder held up a small whistle and blew. Instantly, barking could be heard for miles around. He stopped and so did the barking.

"I didn't want to hire you for another job. I wanted to give you the ten percent I promised. Here."

Jason handed him a check and walked off.

The Kilted Wonder looked at his check.

"I'm nearly killed by those kids and I get $40? Now I can buy a new book of carols for my bagpipe!"

He walked towards the music store just as Taylor made her way towards the McGee residence.

She passed The Kilted Wonder and waved.

"How's the superhero business going?"

"I spread the holiday cheer and made $40!"

"Good for you!"

"Why are you in such high spirits? Usually you want to knock me unconscious with your pillow!"

"I thought my friend was gone for good but I found out he's moving back when he's better!"

"Why just a friend? Wasn't he your boyfriend?"

"He still is. I thought you knew so I didn't need to tell you again."

"But how did you know I knew? What if I didn't know that you knew that I knew that you knew that he was your boyfriend?"  
"Because you tried to make us kiss under mistletoe!"

"Oh. Well, I'm going to get some bagpipe music now!"

"More power to ya!"

Taylor walked to Sam's house. She knocked on the door and Liz opened it.

"Hey Liz."

"Hey Taylor. What's up?"

"I came to see Sam, but I've got a bone to pick with you."

"What?"  
"Did you kiss my brother?"

"He told you?"

"I had to force him to talk."

"With your pillow no doubt."

"Yup. So, are you two going on a date?"

"Umm…Sam! There's someone here to see you!"

Liz ran away and Sam walked in.

"Umm… Hi Taylor. How's the Sherlock Holmes book?"

"Don't change the subject Sam. You know why I'm here."

"You think it's my fault Ian moved away and you want to knock me unconscious with your pillow."

"Why does everyone think I want to knock them unconscious with my pillow?"

"Because you do."

"That's besides the point. I came here to apologize."

"Really?"

"Yes."  
"What if this is just a trick so you can knock me unconscious with your pillow?"  
"It isn't. I promise."  
"Okay. I'll take your word for it."  
"Okay. Sam, I'm sorry for using you as a scapegoat because my best friend…"  
"I thought he was your boyfriend."  
"Don't interrupt me. I'm sorry for using you as a scapegoat because my best friend…"

"Boyfriend."

"You're pushing it."

"Sorry."

"I'm sorry for using you as a scapegoat because my best friend moved away. Will you forgive me?"  
"I don't know."

"Why not?"  
"You could just be trying to get me to let my guard down so you can knock me…"  
"Look, I am not trying, nor do I want to, knock you unconscious. I am merely asking if you'll forgive me."

"Can you prove that though?"

"No."

"So you want me to take your word?"

"Yes."

"How credible is your word?"

"You just took my word for it!"

"When?"

"Twenty-two sentences ago."

"Oh."

"So will you forgive me?"

"I'll have to think about it."

"Please?"

"Maybe."

"Why are you taking so long to come to a conclusion?"

"Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"So what's your answer?"

"I don't know."

"What do you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"What can I do to make this nightmare end?"

"How about a penny?"

Taylor dug into her pocket and came up with a penny.

"How's this?"

"Perfect."

"Good. So forgive me now."

"Okay. I forgive you."

Maybe out of happiness that the ordeal was over, maybe because she was trying to prove she was a good friend and truly was sorry, whatever the reason, Taylor gave him a big hug. Liz walked in mid hug and a shocked expression came over her face.

"OMG! You like him?"

"OMG? What's that mean?"

"Sorry. I just got off a chat room. Oh my goodness! You like him?"

Taylor blushed. That's a sign if I ever saw one that my plot twists are pretty cliché.

"No."

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I'm not! My face turns red when it's hot out. It's just hot in here."

"Right. If you say so."

"I've got to be going."

Taylor got up and walked out the door. Liz turned to Sam.

"Does she like you?"

"I don't know. She gave me a penny though."

"Umm…Okay. Do you like her?"

"Hmm…I'm new to the concept of romance. If I were in love, what would it feel like?"  
"Differs for each person. But for most, you feel all warm and fuzzy inside"

"So it wouldn't feel any different from an epiphany."

"No. If you'd have let me finish, I would have said that all you can think about is the person you're in love with."

"Oh. Hmm… I'll have to get back to you on that."

"What?"

"Whether I'm in love or not."

"Oh."

"Wow, do you realize we've had a conversation for one whole minute without you mentioning…"

"By the way, I haven't forgotten the Christmas Incident."

"Never mind."

Chameleon Freak: Sorry it took so long. School is upon me. So it will definitely take longer to crank out a chapter now. Well, the song.

Luau!

If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat,

Eat my buddy Pumbaa here because he is a treat!

Come on down and dine,

On this tasty swine,

All you have to do is get in line!

Are you achin'?

Yup, Yup, Yup!

For some bacon?

Yup, Yup, Yup!

He's a big pig!

Yup, Yup!

You can be a big pig too!

Goodbye for now!


	4. Crucial Revelations…NOT!

Flee For Your Life! 

This fanfic has been brought to you by the author Chameleon Freak!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Pokemon. I just want an Alakazam, then I can hypnotize Nintendo and Pokemon will be mine, and then I'll be happy.

Flee For Your Life!

Chapter 4: Crucial Revelations…NOT!

Taylor was walking down the sidewalk, whistling The Chicken Song. Everything was going great for her. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and she had received a letter from Ian a couple of days ago. She was on her way to pick up the latest copy of Pokemon from the newsstand. Sam ran around the corner towards her.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you! Don't get the latest copy of Pokemon!"

"How'd you know I was getting that magazine?"

"Max told me you read it."

"Why can't I get it?"

"Because you don't want Max to see it."

"Why?"

Sam held up a copy of it.

"Ohhh! That's why!"

On the front was a picture of Max and Liz kissing.

"Yeah. Thank goodness Liz doesn't read this."

"Why do you have it?"

"I buy Nintendo Power every month. I saw this while at the newsstand."

"Oh. Is Nintendo Power a good magazine?"

"Depends on if you like video games. But that's beside the point. We need to break the news to Max and Liz as gently as possible before the media is at their front doors. Seeing as Liz despises (huh?) and I don't really understand girls anyway, I thought you could tell her and I could tell Max."

"Good idea."

The Kilted Wonder walked up.

"I think you should break the news to them at the same time. That way they can talk about it."

Sam started digging for a piece of paper while Taylor said, "That's the best advice you've ever given."

"I went to therapy!"

"Good for you."

Sam pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

"Could I have your autograph? Please."

"Sure thing."

After getting an autograph, Sam said, "I'll get Max. You get Liz. Meet you at the park."

"See ya then."

Sam and Taylor went to round up Max and Liz. About five minutes later, Liz and Max were sitting next to each other in the park.

"Why did you want Liz and I to come here?"

Sam handed a copy of Pokemon to Liz and backed away. Taylor looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Sam just shrugged.

"Can't be too careful. She might think this is my fault."

"Oh."

Sam and Liz stared at the magazine for a few seconds then Max said,

"That explains why the bushes were clicking."

Liz nodded.

Taylor was shocked.

"You guys aren't…mad?"

Max shook his head.

"No. Dad is a Pokemon Master and Mom is the most popular member of the Elite Four."

Gary walked by.

"That publicist was biased!"

They ignored him and Max kept on talking.

"So it's my fault. I'm sorry Liz."

"Did you hear me? That publicist is a big fat old biased jerk!"

"It's okay Max. I don't care."

"SHE'S BIASED I TELL YOU!"

"Oh. That's the best news I've heard all day Liz!"

"SHE THINKS SHE CAN JUST WALK IN AND RUIN MY…"  
Liz turned to Gary.

"Stop yapping already!"

"Fine. But you know I'm right."

Taylor walked over to Gary.

"Meet my little friend, Mr. Pillow!"

"AHHH! THE PAIN!"

Gary ran off and Taylor walked back over.

"We'll just leave you two alone."

Sam turned to Taylor.

"We will?"

"Yes Sam."

She shot him a let's-leave-them-alone type of look and he shrugged.

"Okay. I'll go. Bye Max. Bye Liz."

Taylor and Sam walked away.

"Why'd you make me leave Taylor? They were just about to smooch!"

"I thought you didn't like romantic stuff."

"I don't. I wanted to laugh at them."

"That's mature."

"I told you before, most people I know think I'm 'immature'."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Not really. Say, what's a Swablu doing in Kanto? They're native to the Hoenn region."

Taylor looked up and saw a Swablu coming towards them.

"It must be from Ian. We're pen pals."

"Oh. Awww man!"

"What?"

She turned towards him and saw that the Swablu had decided to relieve itself directly over Sam's head.

"You might want to get some tissues or something."

"I'll go take care of that. See ya later."

Sam walked off and Taylor grabbed the note from the Swablu. She walked home to read it and then write her reply. Upon arriving at her house, she found Max watching T.V. and Sam doing the same.

"You two got here pretty quickly."

Sam shrugged. "That new show that reviews video games is on."

"I heard about that. It's called Judgment Day right? Is it any good?"

Max nodded. "Yeah. These two hosts are constantly arguing! Its hilarious!"

"I'm going upstairs."

"Gee sis, do you need to tell us every time you do something?"

Taylor just walked up to her room to read the letter. It read:

"_Dear Taylor,_

_Everything here is a lot hotter than up in Pallet. I'm wearing a t-shirt and shorts in the middle of February! I met some old friends of yours. I don't know if you remember them, but their names are Courtney and Abby Slate. Abby seems to enjoy Staryu Wars just as much as you and I. But Courtney only likes to talk about boy bands and chick flicks. Hope you're having a good day. Also, I was walking by the newsstand today and I saw Liz and Max kissing on the cover of Pokemon! It was pretty surprising to see my sister on the cover of Pokemon! Tell everyone I said hi._

_Love,_

_Ian_"

She wrote out a letter in response and gave it to the Swablu. She watched it fly away towards Hoenn, which was to the West. All of a sudden, Max and Sam burst into her room. They were both jumping up and down and they each had an opened can of soda in one hand.

"Hey sis, check this out!"

Max and Sam stopped jumping and a look of deep concentration set upon their faces. Max raised his hand and dropped it again. As one, they let out long, loud burps that were so powerful they made their eyes pop. When they were finished, they both applauded each other. Finally, Max spoke.

"We made a new sport. We call it Synchronized Burping. Teams of two chug a can of soda each and then burp as close together as possible. They're then judged on volume, smell, and expression."

"Expression?"

"Teams try to pull funny faces that compliment the other person's funny face while burping at the same time! We're going to submit our sport for the Summer Olympics!"

"Good for you. But could more than two people be on a team?"

"I guess so. We could have different categories! C'mon Sam! We need to figure out the rules and regulations."

"Just a sec."

Sam looked like he was about to puke and Taylor stared at him with a worried expression. You would too if someone was about to puke on your rug. Sam let out another loud burp and then they exited the room. Up at the Indigo Plateau, Susan the publicist was in big time trouble. Tim Evans, Chairman of the Pokemon League Association General Underlying Enforcement committee, or The PLAGUE, as the members of the League called it, was talking to Ash and Misty about what to do with Susan. He had a cheesy haircut that tried to cover up the fact that his red hair was falling out. Think Donald Trump. The rest of the Elite Four just happened to be in the room as well.

"Should we fire her, sue her, or give her an excessive fine?"

"Why are you asking Misty and myself?"

"Because she paid a photographer to shoot embarrassing pictures of _your_ children. The committee saw the picture, called up the photographer, and found out Susan had hired him! So it's only fitting that you decide." Instantly, Ash, Gary, Steven, and Lance all said the exact same thing at the exact same time.

"She's biased! She must go!"

Misty was a little less harsh.

"Let's just fine her."

Again, the boys said the same thing at the same time.

"You just want to give her a fine because she said you were the most popular member of the League! She offered no proof of that! She must go!"

Misty frowned. The publicist hadn't shown any proof, but she liked the feeling of being the most popular.

The boys seemed to know this, so as one they said,

"You should know by now that popularity isn't everything! She must go!"

Misty realized they were right.

"I guess you guys are right. I guess we should fire her."

The boys did a victory dance and then they faced Tim Evans. Once again, as one they stated,

"We have decided that Susan must go. FIRE HER!"

The boys ran off to celebrate with Misty right behind them. Tim went to Susan's office and found her filing some paperwork.

"Susan, the League has come to its decision."  
"What is it?"

"You're fired!"

Susan frowned.

"You can't do this! Who'll take my place? I'm the best there is!"

"Actually, the photographer is taking your place."

"Who?"

Jason walked in.

"Hi."

"NOOOOOOOO!"

So Susan got her just deserts. But since she was mean to other people, she didn't get any desert. So she got her just asparagus instead. Back at the Ketchum residence, Gary, Ash, Steven, Lance, and Misty burst through the door. Taylor looked away from the T.V.

"What are Gary, Lance, and Steven doing here?"

Ash smiled.

"We're celebrating!"

"What are you celebrating?"

"The exile of Susan the evil publicist!"

"Okay."

So Susan was gone, The Elite Four plus Ash were celebrating, and Taylor and Max developed large headaches from the noise the Elite Four plus Ash made. Weeks passed, and soon it was St. Patrick's Day. You should have realized by now one of the main themes of this story is the holidays. Anyway, Taylor and Max got ready for school. Taylor was wearing green pants, while Max was wearing a green t-shirt. They finished breakfast and heard a knock at the door. Taylor opened the door with Max right next to her. Upon seeing who was at the door, their jaws dropped as far as possible. Sam was standing at the door smiling. He started to speak with an Irish accent.

"Happy St. Patrick's Day! Notice I'm wearing a green t-shirt, green pants, green socks, green shoes, a green bowler hat with a four-leaf clover, I won't show you but I have green underwear, I painted my skin green, and I dyed my hair green!"

Max smiled. "You like St. Patrick's Day I'm guessing."

"Aye. Also, here's a bar of Irish Spring Soap, and a little box of Lucky Charms!"

Taylor closed her mouth. "Umm… thanks."

"Oh! I almost forgot!"

Sam held up a Pokeball and released a little Pichu with a mini green bowler that looked like Sam's. He pulled a green boombox out of his green backpack, put in a green CD, and put it next to the Pichu.

Sam took a deep breath and said, "Hit it Petey!"

The Pichu pressed play and Riverdance music started playing. Sam and the Pichu tap-danced in time to the music in an Irish Jig. The song finished and Sam and Petey the Pichu bowed. Sam put away the boombox, pulled out a green leash and green collar, put them on Petey, and smiled.

"So, I see you're showing your holiday spirit by wearing green as well."

Taylor nodded. "Umm…yeah. Cute Pichu you have there."

Petey smiled and hopped on top of Sam's head.

"Yeah. He has a fast metabolism though. He has to go at least once every two hours."

Max was shocked. "Wow. That's a fast metabolism."

"I have to keep food in one pocket of my backpack. Plus, I have a small litter box in my backpack. If he needs to go he just…"

He trailed off as Petey darted into his backpack through a hole in the side.

Taylor frowned. "What if it spills?"

"It wouldn't because I made the bottom of my backpack so it wouldn't tip at all. Plus I take it out when I get home."

"Oh. Well, Max, Sam, it's time to go to school!"

Sam started off and Max asked,

"Where's Liz?"

"She didn't want to walk with me! Imagine that!"

The Kilted wonder popped up wearing the same ensemble as Sam, except he wore a green kilt instead of pants.

"I see you kids are showing the…"

Max and Taylor said as one, "The holiday spirit. We know."

"Oh."

Sam spoke up. "If you're Scottish, why are you celebrating an Irish holiday?"

"Why not?"

"Good point."

Max spoke up. "Poor porcupine."

Taylor sighed. "Give it a rest!"

"Fine."

The Kilted Wonder said goodbye and walked off. Max, Taylor, and Sam walked the rest of the way in silence. When they got to school, Max and Taylor quickly came up with excuses to stay away from Sam for the day.

"Look Sam, Taylor and I are going to just stay with each other for today. We had the outfits planned so that when we walked around today, the outfits would compliment each other. You would just ruin that. No offense."

"None taken. See you guys later."

Sam walked into school and all eyes fixed upon him in an instant. Taylor and Max walked away from him towards their class. When they arrived, they found Liz sitting in her usual seat. She waved.

"Have you guys seen Sam yet?"

Taylor nodded. "We walked to school with him."

"Pretty weird right?"

Max spoke up. "Maybe so. But we got free soap and cereal!"

Liz smiled. "Good point."

"Poor porcupine."

Taylor would have hit Max with her pillow, but class started right then. After school was over, all four of them made their way to the park. Max, Taylor, and Liz soon left Sam in their tracks because he stopped to dance for almost everyone. They were watching a large flock of birds when Sam arrived.

"Guess what! Petey and I made 42.20 from dancing for everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know I didn't get lost. I'm off to dance some more!"

They started at him for a second and then went back to watching the birds. Meanwhile, Sam was walking towards the Indigo Plateau. The Kilted Wonder walked by and waved.

"Why're you heading to the Indigo Plateau?"

"Big Gym Leader Convention! Every gym leader in the world is going to be there! The Elite Four plus Mr. Ketchum are there as well!"

"So?"

"So… gym leaders and the Elite Four plus Mr. Ketchum are the richest people in the world! If anyone will cough up a lot of money for my act, it's them!"

"Oh. So how long is the convention?"

"All week. But mom made me promise I'd only dress up like this today. So I can't go back tomorrow."

"Oh. Happy hunting!"

"Thanks."

Sam walked on until he reached the Plateau.

"Thank goodness it's an outdoor convention." Sam said to himself. He set to work dancing with Petey by his side, and soon he'd made triple the money he'd made in town. He was doing the last jig he could because in front of Ash, Sabrina, Koga, Wallace, and Roxanne. A few minutes later, he pocketed his earnings and started to walk away when he spotted one familiar and two not so familiar faces. He waved and walked over to meet them.

"Hey Ian! How you doing?"  
Ian stared at him for a second then realized who he was.

"Hey Sam! Long time no see."

"Nice green watch!"

"Thanks. Nice green…everything."

"Thanks! Have you met Petey?"

Petey hopped into view.

"No. He's a cute Pichu though."

"Thanks. Who're they?"

"Oh. This is Abby, and this is her twin sister Courtney. Their dad is a gym leader and they tagged along. "Oh. It's nice to meet you. And you. I'm Sam."

Sam extended a hand. Abby and Courtney stared at him as though he had some odd disease and was contagious. Cautiously, Courtney reached out and shook his hand. Seeing that her sister wasn't mutating before her eyes, Abby shook hands with Sam as well.

"So, would you guys like to accompany me to the park? Max, Taylor, and Liz are all watching birds."

They nodded and followed Sam. Upon almost reaching the park, Petey hopped off Sam's head and ran to the park to relieve himself in the great outdoors. So, upon reaching the park, Sam ran over to play with Petey. Abby and Courtney made their way over to Max and Liz. Ian looked around and saw Taylor at the far end of the park.

"Taylor!"

Taylor whirled around and noticed an all too familiar figure running towards her.

"Ian!"

They ran towards each other with their arms extended so they could hug. Taylor and Ian were almost together when Ian slipped and fell on his back. He got up just as Taylor reached him. They hugged and then Taylor pulled away. She had some sort of goo all over her hands. Ian knew what it was.

"That's Pichu…stuff. I must have slipped and fallen on it."

They both looked at Sam who was innocently playing with Petey. Taylor whipped out her pillow and Ian picked up a stick. Sam saw them charging him and fled for his life. He jumped over the park bench that Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney were sitting on. It fell over and Max, Liz, Courtney, and Abby all fell backwards. They became mad at him and charged as well. Sam ran through the park, knocking The Kilted Wonder's bagpipe to the ground. Soon he had exited the park with The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. He dashed through the streets, knocking over a young lady who had just purchased a frying pan. She swung at him with it and he narrowly missed the blow. So now he had a lady with a frying pan, The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. He dashed up to the Indigo Plateau, knocking over guard after guard as he went. By the time he reached the Plateau, he had twenty guards, a lady with a frying pan, The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. He ran through the convention area, knocking over gym leader after gym leader and booth after booth. Soon, he had every gym leader, every booth attendant, twenty guards, a lady with a frying pan, The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. The Elite Four plus Ash were painting a large mural for press purposes when Sam ran by, Gary, Steven, Lance, Misty, and Ash all got paint on them in at least one place. So Sam had Ash, Misty, Gary, Lance, Steven, every gym leader, every booth attendant, twenty guards, a lady with a frying pan, The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. Seeing as that's everyone I can think of, I'll move on. While running, Ian suddenly spoke up.

"I forgot to tell you Taylor, the doctor says I'm cured, so my family and myself are moving back up next week!"

Sam, being chased by an angry mob, wasn't very happy.

A frying pan connected with Sam's head, and he went down and the crowd swarmed around him. As all this was happening, Taylor thought, "_This is the best day of my life!_" Ian was moving back, Sam was being pummeled by an angry mob, and Liz and Max were together as well. And so I say to you all,

THE END!


End file.
